The Dance That We Do
by Jayta
Summary: Chapter 14 update! Yes. It lives. This fic liiiiives!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** The beginning. Here it is. Hopefully I'll be able to find the end. Stupid creative muse! Shoutout to all at the Zach and Kendall Message board. You guys stoked my love of Zendall to this point...damn you! But big huge shoutout to Gidget and her Zendall video clips! I dedicate this fic to you!

**Prologue**

Her alabaster skin, smooth and soft to the touch, glowed under the harsh hospital lights. He avoided her waking presence, afraid of what kind of future it would bring for them. In his heart, he feared it was an ending.

Everything about them was a contradiction. This woman whom he had thought arrogant, shallow and airy, had transformed before his eyes into a deep, strong-willed, courageous beauty. Or perhaps, she had always been that way. He was distant and in control, yet somehow he had deeply lost control. He had known what life he had chosen; but in reality he had not known at all.

Kendall Hart was a woman he had unknowingly fallen in love with.

--&--

"Kendall, you can't be serious?" Greenlee exclaimed incredulously. "You're not going to Haiti with him!"

Kendall buttoned up her shirt and grabbed her purse, which was sitting on the hospital bed. "Uh, yes, I am." She could not wait. She would be free - free from this man who had made her fall in love with him. "So stop thinking that you can convince me otherwise," she argued irritably. "Because this is the only way to get him _out_ of ours."

"What do you mean?"

"I gave Zach a ticket to Haiti the day before the fire," she sighed. "And he gave excuse after excuse about why he couldn't do it. Now at least he's willing to consider it."

"But only if you go with him!" Greenlee's voice became shrill, as if to exaggerate the insanity of the point.

"So?" Kendall shrugged uncomfortably. "It's not like he's going there to sweep me off my feet and tell me he can't live without me," she said lost in thought. Then with a plastic smile she clasped her hands together. "So no worries."

She dwelt on that unthinkable fantasy for a moment; and it made her heart skip a beat. _What if it did happen? Would you still divorce him?_ It never would. She sighed. Shaking herself from her reverie, Kendall was met with narrow eyes, that seemed to be searching for a way to reason with her. _Greenlee will never learn_.

"Fine," huffed the petite dirty-blonde. "I'm coming along with you for the ride."

"Are you kidding?" Kendall raised a skeptical brow. "I think I'm old enough to fly on my own, mother," she scoffed, shaking her head at the wild woman before her. If she hadn't known any better, Kendall would have believed Greenlee was the one pregnant.

"Hey," Greenlee growled, pointing her index finger into her chest. "That's my baby you're carrying."

"And I'm going to be gone for what?" she pretended to calculate in her head, "a whole day? At the most two?"

"He's tricky, that Zach Slater," Greenlee blurted out. "I'm sure he's hatching some plan to get you to reconsider."

Sometimes she didn't know what to do with her best friend. As much as Greenlee prided herself on her intelligence, the girl wasn't too observant. "Woman, chill. The man doesn't care about me," Kendall sighed. "All he wanted from me was revenge and a business partner. Get that through your thick skull! He honors his business deals, so we can trust when he says that we're going to get a divorce - we're going to get a divorce."

"Honorable?" Greenlee looked like she was about to choke on the word. "This is the man who lied to both of us when he told us Ryan was DEAD!"

"This is different," she protested uneasily. Kendall hated what Zach had done to Greenlee...and to her. But she knew that Zach wasn't about to reneg on this deal. Even though part of her wished, for this one time, it was a lie. "W-we don't have attachments to each other. It's just a termination of a contract."

"Well you'd think differently if you saw him..." Greenlee's voice trailed off.

"Saw him what?" Kendall furrowed her brow, unable to decipher what her friend was talking about. She paused at the door, her hand resting on the doorhandle, waiting for an answer. "Saw him what?" she repeated the question.

She thought she saw something flash in Greenlee's eyes, before she hid them behind her thick lashes. "Nothing," she mumbled, moving towards the door. "Let's just go."

"Ooooh no," Kendall said suspiciously. It was the way Greens was acting that caused her to wonder what was going on. It was like she was hiding something from her. "You're not going to get away with that casual 'nothing' thing."

"It was nothing," Greenlee protested, looking her in the eyes. "You already know what a scumbag I think he is. I was just thinking that you, for some demented Kendall-psycho reason, see something decent in him. And that isn't who he is.

"He's caused nothing but pain."

Kendall bit her tongue. She knew that everything Greenlee had been through seemed to fall on Zach's one lie. Ryan had left, but Zach had kept him dead. "Look," she said slowly. "I want him out of my life as badly as you do."

"Which I totally support."

"Then you have to let me go."

"We can get a divorce without you having to go to Haiti with Zach Slater," Greenlee exclaimed in exasperation. "Like it is some kind of vacation! Next thing you know, he'll have you liquored up and married again!"

"Well you know that won't happen," she said, pointing to her still-flat belly. "Because I'm with child you know." She grinned, which after a tense moment Greenlee chuckled.

"And you wouldn't harm this baby," Greenlee said protectively, seemingly to give a little. "You promise to take care of it? You'll sleep on the plane and at the hotel as well?"

"Like a good incubation unit would," Kendall nodded, while saluting Greenlee.

"You're not..."

"I'm joking!" she said, rolling her eyes and giving Greenlee a little push.

The mother-to-be still remained hesitant at the whole idea.

"I still don't know about this Kendall," she hedged. "I would feel better if you let Jackson help get your divorce over and done with."

"As if it wouldn't take forever to get through all of the red-tape!" Kendall shook her head. "No, this will be quicker and simpler."

"Fine," Greenlee sighed, finally giving in. "But if he even thinks of trying anything..."

"Yeah," Kendall laughed half-heartedly. "That'll be the day."

"Why do I have a feeling I'm going to regret this?"

"Don't you trust me?" she smirked."

"No."

"Well too bad. I'm going," Kendall laughed, holding open the hospital door. "Now let's get a move on, I have a plane to catch."

--&--

He had no idea what had compelled him to give in. He should have remained firm about the divorce. How could he protect Kendall and care for her if he was no longer her husband?

But Zach Slater was a practical man. Kendall had made it so very clear that she wanted nothing to do with him. She had put in place people who would take 'better' care of her than he ever could. _Since when did I give a damn what people wanted?_

However,he didn't have a masochistic side. It would be torture to be near to her and not want to touch her, hold her, kiss her. He had a certain amount of self control, but not that much. "It's the only way," he said out loud to himself, as he closed door behind him, with his suitcase in hand. It wasn't too late. If he got this over with quickly, maybe he could snap out of this haze he thought was love. Zach let out a loud sigh. "The only way."

Now if he could only get himself to believe that.


	2. Chapter One: Booked Up

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** The beginning. Here it is. Hopefully I'll be able to find the end. Stupid creative muse! Shoutout to all at the Zach and Kendall Message board. You guys stoked my love of Zendall to this point...damn you! But big huge shoutout to Gidget and her Zendall video clips! I dedicate this fic to you!

**Chapter One: Booked Up**

"So are you ready to go?" Zach shifted his weight from foot to foot, as he met Kendall along the courtyard path. He glanced down at the small bag she had with her.

"U-uh, no," Kendall stammered. Greenlee had dropped her off before heading over to Fusion. The obsessive girl had wanted to walk her to her door, but Kendall had managed to convince her otherwise. "I-I just got out of the hospital."

"I-I'm not trying to rush you," he apologized. "I didn't know today was when you were getting discharged, or otherwise I would have sent a limo to pick you up."

"No, that's fine," she lowered her gaze to the tiled floor beneath her feet. "Greenlee picked me up and dropped me off."

"She's well enough to drive?" Zach was disturbed at the thought that a woman who had also been in the hospital with his wife, had driven her home.

"Oh, yeah," Kendall dismissed with a wave. "She actually got discharged before me."

She stared at him curiously. What was the big deal? Kendall was amused at what she had thought was a look of distress on his face when Zach had heard she was driven home by Greenlee.

"Well, uh, the jet is fueled and ready to go." Zach motioned towards the running car, out front. "Traded in your ticket for a personal jet," he quipped.

"But I haven't even had a chance to pack," Kendall said incredulously. "Can't you wait a few minutes?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" she asked, puzzled.

"We're going to be there and back within a day," he explained. "So why do you need a change of clothes?"

"I'm not riding on that plane for who knows how long, without a change of clothing," she stated matter-of-factly. "Besides, you're one to talk." She pointed down to the medium-sized carry-on in his hand. Raising a knowing brow, Kendall folded her arms across her chest and waited for him to talk his way out of this one.

"I've got business," Zach said casually. "So I'll be staying longer."

"You're not coming back with me?" she blurted out before she knew what she was saying. Kendall cursed herself for not being able to control her tongue. It sounded like she was keeping tabs on him.

Zach felt the corners of his lips curl at the unexpected show of emotion. She was so vibrant and alive. She was outspoken and allowed her emotions to dictate her words and actions. It was always unpredictable and refreshing.

"No," he said, clearing his throat, pulling his eyes away from her face. He always found his gaze coming to rest upon the intriguing woman. The large pools of green were like windows into her soul, entrancing those who would dare to peek. "I'm sorry to make you take this flight home alone. But it is somewhat fitting, wouldn't you say?"

Kendall bit the inside of her lip. The thought of everything ending that afternoon made her ill; and suddenly she was overwhelmed with a sense of nausea. Dropping her bag, she ducked into her house and made a mad dash to the bathroom.

Zach was alarmed, not quite understanding what had just happened. On her heels, he followed Kendall into her place and watched as she disappeared into one of the back rooms. He had no idea what was going on. And then he heard gagging noises. iT was then he was able to relax - somewhat. Amidst all the commotion, he had almost forgotten about the child growing inside of her.

_Morning sickness_.

As he stood pacing back and forth in the living room, Zach couldn't help but feel useless. The strangled gasps for air were enough to make him want to barge through the closed door and find out if she was all right; yet he felt helpless to do anything. Suddenly he heard the jiggle of a doorknob, as Kendall emerged from the dimly lit hallway. "Are you all right?" he asked, rushing to her side. With one hand he grasped hers, while his free arm slipped around her waist, as he guided her to the couch. Her face was pale and she looked miserable.

"Thank you," Kendall said softly. She couldn't believe how fast the morning sickness had come upon her. It wasn't really even morning. It was early afternoon. And she wasn't even three weeks into her pregnancy.

"Are you okay?" he repeated his question again, as he laid her back on the couch. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No," she protested, sitting up. "I'm fine. Really."

"Here, I'll get you a glass of water," he offered, ignoring her declarations of wellness. He had never gone through a pregnancy with a woman before. As Ethan could attest to, he certainly hadn't been there for his mother,Hannah.

Kendall felt the blood rushing to her cheeks...well, the blood that hadn't gone there from regurgitating this morning's hospital breakfast. Definitely a good last image for her to be leaving him. Silently she groaned, hating the fact that God had to punish all women with this thing called 'morning sickness'. Didn't they already have PMS?

"Here," Zach held out a glass of water, "drink this."

Kendall couldn't believe what she was seeing. Zach Slater hovering...over her. It was an unusual sight. _But he did tell me he would be there for me through this pregnancy_. Part of her now wondered if that promise would remain. "Thank you," she whispered, taking the glass from him. She held the glass in her hand a moment, pausing to turn and meet Zach's concerned gaze. "Really Zach. I mean it. Thanks for being here."

Kneeling beside her, Zach smiled at her, reaching out to brush a stray curl from her eyes. "It's my pleasure," he answered sincerely. His lips parted to say more, but he decided otherwise.

"You know," she said hesitantly. "Just now, I'd say you would have made a good husband to somebody.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah." Kendall nodded, setting down the glass of water on the coffee table in front of her. "You didn't come into the bathroom," she pointed out, "which was a good thing, because running out on you was embarrassing enough, but doing it because you're throwing up is a whole other matter."

"So I did good then?" Zach said, amused at Kendall's ramblings. He had missed them since their huge argument, which took place here in this house.

"Very," she confirmed. "I'd say I'd give you an eight out of ten?"

"Only an eight?" he asked, raising a questioning brow.

"Well, there is the fact that you didn't come in and hold my hair, like you promised to," she explained. "And as well, you have been hovering ever since I got out of the bathroom."

"And hovering is a bad thing?" he asked curiously. "Because I thought we, husbands, were supposed to hover over our pregnant wives?"

Their eyes met and they both laughed out loud at the absurd conversation they were having. The laughter died after a few moments and they sat in silence.

"Well," coughed Kendall, "I guess we should get going."

"I guess so." Zach plastered on a smile and nodded. As he helped Kendall up off the couch, he asked, "Are you sure you're up for this trip? I mean, we can postpone?"

Kendall almost gave pause to the suggestion, but knew if she did not press on, she would give Zach the opportunity to prove that he had been correct in his assumption that she did not, in fact, want to divorce him. _Which is so not true_. "No," she said firmly. "Now's a good of a time as any. I mean, it probably will only get worse, right?"

"True," Zach agreed half-heartedly. "The chances are your morning sickness will get worse."

"Oh thanks for that note of encouragement," she scoffed, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Like I'm not dreading it enough already, after that first bout of nausea."

"I do what I can," he teased.

"But seriously," she sighed. "We better get going. I told Greenlee that this would take no more than two days, max."

"Ladies first." Zach bowed, holding the door open for her.

For a moment Kendall wished she had accepted his offer to postpone. There was just something about him...It made her weak in the knees. She didn't know whether it was his dark brooding eyes, his boyish grin, or his penchant for always 'being right'. Maybe it was the combination of the three. "Thank you," she said politely. Stopping short of being out the door, Kendall turned to him and locked gazes with those dark brown eyes, which she had grown accustom to staring into. "I guess this is it, then, huh?"

Zach was caught off guard. He didn't think she'd become sentimental. "I guess," he replied with a nod. She was only a inches away now. He took a step closer. "Unless you want to change your mind."

Her lips parted, as if to say something, but everything seemed clear as she pulled away from him. He wanted to reach out and make her change her mind. He wanted to tell her that he knew she wanted him to stay - she wanted to remain with him. But things had changed that day in his office, when she told him she hated him and walked out on him.

He became unsure.

"Nice try," she chuckled, convinced it was his horrible sense of humor. "But we're going through with it." As she said those words her heart broke.

Why was she doomed to remain alone and miserable?

----&----

"What's the delay?" Kendall frowned, as she peered around Zach towards the cockpit.

"Apparantly there's been a problem on the runway," Zach explained, settling back down in his seat. "So we're being forced to be patient about the whole thing."

"Are we getting off the runway soon?" she asked irritably. The long opportunities to retract her demand for a divorce were wearing her down, especially after Zach became so attentive and caring after her bout with morning sickness. Even on the ride over, he didn't go three minutes without checking how she was feeling. And when they had boarded the plane, he made sure she was seated closer to the washroom. "It's been almost a half an hour."

"Should be soon," he said reassuringly. "Are you in that much of a hurry to divorce me?" He tilted his head and waited for an answer. It was to tease her, maybe even to evoke some sort of reaction.

His question caught her off guard slightly. They hadn't mentioned it since they left her place. It was like neither of them wanted to speak about it. She supposed it was indicative of their entire relationship. They probably went through their entire marriage without speaking about their feelings, unless it was in times of crisis. And even in those times, they were feelings of annoyance and hints of subtle attachment. "Aren't you?" she retorted.

"I wasn't the one who made requested the divorce, if I recall correctly."

Kendall swallowed hard. What was she supposed to say to that? "Things happen and circumstances have arisen that has made it impossible for us to...to do this." Lies. How ironic? This relationship which was based on mutual loathing and business, honesty and detachment, had turned into something more complicated and involved. "Why are you fighting this?"

"I'm not," Zach answered. "I'm here on this plane, ready to give you a divorce."

"But you're not making this easy," she said knowingly. "You're making it harder than it has to be. It's like..."

"It's like I care?" He finished her sentence for her.

"Yeah."

"I never said I didn't. In fact, I remember a conversation where I specifically told you to shut up and open your eyes to see that I care," Zach said matter-of-factly. "So how does that come as a surprise."

"I didn't think you were serious." Another lie. She knew he cared. But what did that mean? "I thought you just s-said that," she paused, "because I caught you in a lie that tore mine and Greenlee's lives apart."

"You know," he said, leaning over, closer to her. "I think that you know why I did what I did. And I'll say it again...I wasn't wrong. Ryan Lavery was a ticking bomb ready to go off."

"Stop, right there." Ryan wasn't perfect, but he had been so messed up because of Jonathan and Braeden. How could she blame him for the way he reacted when he thought he had killed his brother? And Zach had no right to judge him for it or do the things he did...even if it was to protect her and Greenlee. "We're not going to go there," she said stiffly. "Because it might want to make me haul off and smack you, and that would be straining myself. And that wouldn't be good for the baby."

Zach watched as she ran her hand absentmindedly over her stomach. He resented Ryan. Everything that had happened was because of him. He and Kendall were doing just fine until Ryan decided to lose it. He brought chaos into his perfectly self-contained life. "I can't say that I understand your complete worship and adoration of Ryan Lavery," he said darkly. "I don't want to. It's a screwed up fantasy that at least Greenlee has figured out isn't real. But I won't say anything else."

"If you think this man is _so_ horrible," she spat, as the words he spoke pushed her buttons. "Then why the hell did you tell Greenlee that she should allow this child to know his father. That Ryan should know this child?"

"Because whether Ryan has reformed or gotten some kind of lobotomy, he should know that you're carrying his child." His experience about this exact situation came to the forefront of his mind. _Too many what ifs and regrets._

"But if he's such a danger...?" She wanted an answer.

"It doesn't matter, because he wouldn't go near you," Zach declared darkly. "I would never let him hurt you or this child."

"This protective thing you do," Kendall waved her finger at him, "can end now. I mean, as soon as we sign those papers, I'm no longer your problem. You do know that? You're free."

"Marriage license or not, I'm still going to keep you and this child safe," he said firmly. "I made you a promise."

_Why? Why was he doing this to her?_ The man could have made this a clean break, but here he was telling her that he would protect her and her baby from Ryan. Her head swirled. _Did he care about her in a different way?_ "But I'm releasing you of all promises made under the guise of our marriage," she said uneasily. "I mean it. You're in the free and clear."

"And I'm tellling you that you're not going to make me a person who breaks a promise." Zach reached across the small table in between them and grasped her hand. "I'll be there if you need me."

Kendall tried to pull her hand away, but he tightened his grip. Her heart was racing and she felt a small lump developing in her throat. The man was exasperating and stubborn. Couldn't he take a hint? "And I told you that I'll be fine."

"I know you will." Zach smiled knowingly, while his thumb caressed the back of her hand. "Because I'm going to make sure of that."

----&----

The flight had been long and tiring. Zach knew Kendall resented the fact that he continued to assert his will in her life, even though they were parting ways. Part of him wasn't quite sure why he was. It was as if she was testing him, seeing if he would fold - pack up his bags and desert her.

Over the years he had developed a warped code of conduct. Most of the time it was what he wanted and what was best for him, but he had his moments. For the most part, he gauged the desire to help people on whether it would affect him. Some said it was a mask that he hid behind. A handful of people said they saw past it and knew that he really was a good man at heart. There weren't too many people he let get that close.

"It's about time we got here," Kendall said wearily. "I thought we'd never get off the ground."

"I told you, you just need a little patience."

By the time they arrived in Haiti, it was dark and the stars were out. He arranged for the driver to take them to the resort he would be staying at during his stay. It was a small secluded place on the outskirts of the island.

"So, where's the nearest place you can get a divorce around here?" she quipped lightly, glancing around the lobby.

"You know," he hedged. "It's late and we're jet-lagged. Perhaps it would be best if we just got a good night's sleep and search for the courthouse in the morning?"

"Stay the night?" Kendall asked a little trepidatiously. "Greenlee is expecting me back tonight."

"You did say one or two days, right?"

"Y-yes," she said anxiously. "But I know she and I would prefer it take the one day."

"Well," Zach sighed. "We're not going to find a courthouse opened this late. And I'm bushed. You can phone Greenlee and explain the situation."

"I'd rather you phone Greenlee and tell her the situation," she muttered under her breath, knowing she would hear a mouthful from the feisty blonde.

"Well?"

"Fine," Kendall sighed. She was about ready to drop at that moment; and Greenlee did say to take care of herself. Traveling back tonight would have exhausted her too much. _That's right. I'm just thinking about the baby._ Never mind the fact that she didn't mind having one more night as being known as Mrs. Zach Slater. "Let's just check-in and go to sleep."

Arriving at the front desk, Zach and Kendall were greeted by a native of the island; he was short in stature and wore a loose button-shirt, which in design seemed native to the island. "How may I help you?" he asked with a heavy accent.

"I have a reservation under Slater," Zach informed the man.

"And this is your lovely wife?" he said, pointing to their rings.

"Yes," Zach answered, under Kendall's disapproving gaze.

"Hmmm," the front desk agent said thoughtfully. "We have a reservation for one? In one of our business suites?"

"Ah yes," he sighed. "There has been a change of plans. We will be needing two rooms instead of one."

"Two?" The front desk agent looked curiously between the two.

"Two," Kendall confirmed, not wanting to state their personal business to the stranger in front of them.

"Oh, well, unfortunately we do not have two rooms available," the man apologized. "But what I can do is upgrade you to one of our honeymoon suites? There would be more room for you than in our business suites."

"Why don't we just take both?" Kendall asked uncomfortably. "Money isn't an problem."

"I'm sorry, we are completely booked. You have the choice of the business-class suite or the honeymoon suite," he explained. "Will this be a problem?"

"Problem?" Kendall glanced over at Zach, who seemed slightly ruffled at the situation.

"Is there another hotel with accomodations for two?" Zach inquired awkwardly.

"Actually this is a bad week for you to be looking for extra accommodations," the front desk agent answered sympathetically. "All hotels and accommodations are booked months in advance. There is a big celebration marking the 200th anniversary of Dessaline's reign here in Haiti."

"No where else?" Zach pressed on, noticing Kendall's growing discomfort at the notion.

"I am very sorry," he apologized. "But I do highly recommend the honeymoon suite for a married couple such as the two of you."

"Problem," Kendall said horrified at the idea of staying in the same room as Zach.

"Fine, we'll take it," Zach agreed, handing over his credit card.

Kendall felt slightly nauseous hearing those words. What was she going to do? How would she explain this to Greenlee?

Every hotel was full. What were the odds? Zach wondered whether he shouldn't make a few calls and find someone to open the courthouse at this time of night. The reason for their staying the night was to get a good night's rest, but as he watched Kendall out of the corner of his eye, he knew he would be getting no sleep at all.

_What have I gotten myself into?_


	3. Chapter Two: Like A Moth To A Flame

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** Wow. Quite a response. I love you all for giving me some feedback. Because as everyone knows, feedback is an author's friend!  
**A/N 2:** Your praise is unwarranted. God is my inspiration for he has shown me what true love is. And though it seems a departure to speak about him, it is through him I know clearly what love is. And how I can see that Kendall and Zach all the makings of people who could be each other's other halves.

**Chapter Two: Like A Moth To A Flame**

Surveying the room upon entering, Kendall saw a fair-sized living area that had a floor-to- ceiling window opening to the beach. As she slowly meandered into the living area, she noticed the open entranceway that led to the bedroom. The room was fairly big, but not by North American standards. There was a king-sized bed, with a thin-net canopy hanging from above. Fresh arrangements of flowers adorned the room, as the dim lighting and copperish-salmon walls made the room feel intimate - as any honeymoon suite should be. There was also two french doors against the far wall. It was dark, so she couldn't make out what was exactly out there, but she assumed it was a veranda overlooking the ocean as well, similar to the living area. "Looks...uh, comfy," she quipped awkwardly.

Zach followed her into the bedroom. He obviously hadn't thought this thing through. What was he thinking, when he suggested they wait until morning to begin the divorce proceedings? "Uh," he cleared his throat, while his gaze fell upon the bed, "yeah."

_Okay, get a grip, man._ He knew how to control himself. He was a master of his emotions.

_'Ha,' a silent voice scoffed._

"I've got dibs on the bed!" Kendall blurted out.

"W-what?" Zach frowned.

"Dibs. On. The. Bed." She grinned. The jetlag certainly had slowed his reaction time down.

"Now wait a minute," he drawled.

"What, you're going to forego chivalry and make me sleep on the couch?" she challenged. "It's definitely a good thing we're here to get a divorce."

"I would have offered you the bed," Zach said coyly. "You just never gave me the chance. Selfish as always."

"You _so_ were not going to offer me the bed," she retorted. "You're just saying that now because you think you look bad."

"Did not." He took a step forward towards her.

"Oh, you so did!" she exclaimed, pushing her index finger into his chest.

Zach loved their often inane, yet deliciously fun banter. He loved to rile her up. Many times he would say things that he wouldn't necessarily believe, just to see that fire light up in her eyes, and watch her warm up for a fight. And as he stared into her sparkling green eyes, he was drawn in again. His pulse sped up, and all he wanted to do was get closer to her - touch her cheek, caress her hair.

_'Wait a second,' a cautious voice rang in his head. 'Danger. Danger.'_

"Didn't," he said huskily, dipping his head slightly, so his cheek brushed hers, before pulling away.

It took all she had to not collapse into his arms right then and there. Even his merest touch sent shivers down her spine. _Too dangerous._ Her thoughts were jumbled, and she was taking her damn time trying to recompose herself. "Well," she said, taking a deep breath. "We probably should get to bed."

Zach spun around at her remark. Tilting his head, as the corner of his lips curled, he raised his brow.

Kendall closed her eyes and silently kicked herself for opening her mouth. "I-I didn't mean...well, go to bed, everyone says that," she began to ramble. "I mean, it practically is said by every person on earth."

"I'm sure they do," he smirked.

"You _know_ I didn't mean it like that," she coughed, growing slightly flustered. "You know I meant, you go to bed and I go to bed..."

"Well there's only one bed..." He motioned to the bed to their right. "So, are you suggesting something so intimate," Zach said, inching closer. "On the eve of our divorce. Maybe a sort of celebration of sorts?"

"For pete's sake!" Kendall yelled, partly out of frustration at the man and fear of the implications of his innuendo. "You're such a jerk! Why do you take the most simple phrases and twist them around to mean something...so not there?"

"What do you mean?" Zach feigned innocence. "All I was trying to do was clarify your statement," he shrugged, "because you, and women in general, don't always say what you mean."

"Okay, that's it," she said, flinging her hands up in the air. "Out! Get out of my room."

Zach stumbled back, as he felt the force of her anger, in the simple push backwards, towards the living room. "Hey," he pouted. "No need for violence."

"I'll violence you, if you don't get out of my room."

"Are you sure?" he said, trying not to smile, knowing it would only make the situation worse. Leaning forwards slightly, he countered her weak pushes, trying to calm her down as she tried to force him out of the room. "You might need me for something?"

"In your dreams, Zach Slater," she huffed, as she placed both hands on his chest and pushed with all her weight. "Now get out. I'm tired and want to catch the first flight out of here."

He stood his ground.

_Why did he have to be so tall and strong?_

Zach gently grabbed Kendall's wrists and tugged upwards. The result of this, was her losing her traction and slightly tumbling into him. He quickly slipped his arms around her waist, to keep her from falling down.

She tried to brace herself against him, but it was too late. Now he held her tightly against his body and she could feel the heat emanating from him, like it was permeating her body and causing her own body temperature to rise. The nearness of him, his scent, made her mouth go dry. It was as if she couldn't catch her breath, as their eyes locked, and his lips were only millimetres away.

He could kiss her. All he would have to do is lean tilt his head slightly and her warm, sweet lips would be entangled with his. It would feel good and it would...be all wrong.

Kendall searched his dark unreadable eyes. Was he really there? Was this all a game? She wished she knew what it was he wanted from her. At moments like these, she felt like the dream she had when she was at the hospital could be true - that he could have declared his love for her.

"Are you all right?" he asked, clearing his throat, his gaze never leaving hers.

"Y-yeah," she whispered, her hands sliding down the length of his arms. "I'm fine." She smiled faintly and looked away.

"All right then," he said, speaking a little louder now, slowly extricating his arms from around her waist. "You were right. It is getting a little late."

Backing away - running away - it was what he was good at.

She watched him lean towards the entranceway, slowly, as if hesitating, before disappearing from sight. It was crazy; loving him was crazy. Kendall wanted to scream, as she remained staring at the empty entrance. He was only a few feet away; yet they were miles apart.

--&--

After arguing with Zach in the courtyard about bringing a nightbag, here she stood without even a toothbrush. She sighed to herself, trudging into the bathroom to see what she could find. It was creepy; as if the hotel elves heard her thoughts, she found a toothbrush, toothpaste and even a little shaving kit, neatly arranged on the bathroom counter. _They think of everything._

Slipping out of her grubby clothes, she turned on the shower, letting the droplets of cool water dance across the palm of her hand as she waited for it to warm. Humming to herself, she tried to push the fact that Zach was just in the next room. Of course he would have to enter the bedroom to get ready for bed. As the sound of water beating against the walls filled her ears, Kendall began scheming how to avoid another confrontation - good or otherwise.

She could just pretend to be asleep by the time he realized where the bathroom was. Or she could hide out on the veranda, until she was sure he was safely on the other side of the suite. Slipping into the shower, Kendall realized how childish this seemed. She was a grown woman. She should be able to handle having her soon-to-be ex-husband in the same room with her. But of course, their circumstances were not exactly typical.

The water felt good against her skin. She could feel the tension slipping away under the hard, fast pressure of the hot water. All she needed to do was forget about Zach Slater. All she needed to do was get through one night, without crumbling under the pressure of being in love with a man who didn't even want her.

--&--

He would have unpacked, but it seemed pointless. It wasn't as if he had anywhere to put his things. He would have to wait until tomorrow - until she left on a plane back to Pine Valley. He would have to wait until his divorce was final.

But here they were stranded in the same room together. He had foolishly believed that it would only take the afternoon to be free from this woman he had come to care about. Stupidly, he thought the quicker he got this over with, the faster he could attempt to forget her. However, the end of the night had proved how hard that was going to be.

Glancing over his shoulder, he imagined Kendall lying in that bed alone, and what it would be like to quietly slip in beside her, to slide his hands around her waist and hold her close. _Stop it._ Groaning slightly, Zach tried to turn his thoughts to business. He had a couple of meetings with old acquaintances from his past that happened to be vacationing on the island.

He scanned the living room, looking for a place where there might possibly be spare linens, or blankets or pillows. Nada. His eyes darted over to the open doorway between the living room and the bedroom. _It would most practically be in one of the drawers or closets in the bedroom._ He sighed. Surely she couldn't fault him for wanting something to sleep with.

Cautiously, he made his way to the entranceway. He peeked around the corner of the dimly lit room. It was empty, though he could see a light from the crack underneath the bathroom door. _Safe._ Quickly, Zach zipped through the dresser drawers and found a couple of spare pillows. He then went to the closet, beside the bathroom door. There were a couple of spare sheets and a blanket. "All set," he said to himself. As he turned to leave the room, he heard the sound of the shower suddenly grow silent. Quickly he snuck back onto 'his' side of the suite before she caught him.

He couldn't help but chuckle to himself. It was like was a teenage boy or something, sneaking around girl's rooms. Shaking his head, he threw his 'bed' onto the decorative couch. It was more like a loveseat than a couch; and it looked like it would be even uncomfortable sitting on it, compared to spending the night on the thing.

This was going to be one long night.

----&----

"Zach?" Kendall began to look through the dresser drawers, to see if the resort had left any other goodies for her. "Zach?" she repeated herself. "Oh soon-to-be ex-husband of mine! Are you there?"

Sifting through his open suitcase, he gathered his bathroom accessories, as he was ready to turn in for the night. "Yes dear," he sang, with syrupy sweetness. "Now would you answer me this?"

"What is it?" Kendall stood up, glancing towards the entrance with its contrasting bright light, streaming into her room.

"Are you done with the bathroom, dear?"

"Yes," she sighed dryly. Kendall rolled her eyes and trudged over to the other side of the suite. Peeking around the corner, she stuck her tongue out at her husband. "You can use the bathroom now."

"Good." Zach grabbed his things, prepared to wash up.

"So I see you found a pillow and blanket," she said distractedly, her eyes fixed upon the small pile of linens and pillows.

"Well, who said chivalry wasn't without its sufferings, eh?" he sighed. "But, I do it for the well-being of my ladyfair. Besides, I've got the bed for another week."

"Say," Kendall said perking up. "You planned for more than a few days here, right?"

"Right," he said slowly. He didn't like that expression on her face. Already he could hear the gears grinding.

"Then you must have brought extra clothing?" Sliding from behind the safety of the wall, Kendall tugged at the large terrycloth bathrobe tied loosely around her.

"Possibly."

"Because today, someone dragged me onto a plane without even a change of clothes, even though I firmly told them that I could not leave without at least carry-on bag," she said slowly and deliberately, layng the foundations of her case. "And then proceeded to tell me we were going to have everything settled by the end of the day; which left me to believe I should depart to a remote island with just the clothes on my back."

Zach folded his arms across his chest, tilting his head slightly bemused, as he allowed her to finish her elaborate rambling.

"Which now leaves me with no clothes to wear tomorrow, when we get to the courthouse as well as to sleep in."

"Are you finished? Because it's getting late," he yawned. "And I think I just might fall asleep standing here."

Kendall narrowed her gaze on Zach, who seemed to be having fun at her expense.

"Though I now see how the stories of falling asleep while standing, is an actual probability."

"You're such a jerk!" she growled, as the floppy sleeves of her bathrobe folded across her chest. "Go!" She gestured with a sharp jerk of her head, towards the bathroom. "Use the bathroom, while I'm still gracious enough to let you into my room."

"So there wasn't a point to that intriguing story?"

Kendall bit her tongue and refused to reply.

"You do have something to where," he informed coyly. "What are you talking about?" Zach chuckled as he strode past his fuming wife. "You know," he said, slowing down as he passed. "You could just sleep in your birthday suit."

"Shut up," she hissed, giving him a shove towards the door. "Wash up quick because I want to sleep."

As the soft padding of his feet drifted from hearing, Kendall eyed Zach's suitcase. She was his wife after all. The divorce wasn't final yet. She took a step closer to the couch, where he had propped open his suitcase. Licking her lips, she tried to see what exactly he had packed.

All she needed was something to sleep in.

As Zach had mentioned so obnoxiously before, sleeping in the nude had been a thought, but with Zach next door, she didn't feel quite inclined. And sleeping in the bathrobe didn't appeal to her either. Inching closer to the couch until she was standing over top of it, Kendall rubbed her hands together and smiled mischievously. _What do we have here?_

--&--

"What are you doing?"

"What?" Kendall spun around, placing her hands against her chest, startled at Zach's quiet appearance. Her heart was racing.

Zach's eyes ran down the length of her body, starting from her shocked and stunned expression to the overly large, white silk shirt that skimmed along her lean frame, that stopped mid-thigh, revealing her shapely legs. She looked sweet and innocent with the oversized shirt almost swallowing her whole; yet she was the harbinger of seduction. The cold shower he had taken had been a mute point; swallowing hard, he forced himself to look away. "I see you found my favorite shirt," he coughed, as he began to fidget with the clothes in his hand.

"I can see why," Kendall grinned mischievously, hugging herself - her hands enveloped in the thin, smooth cloth. "It's really soft."

"My question is, _why_ are you in my favorite shirt?" he asked, somewhat distracted and irritated. Keeping his focus on the disarray surrounding his suitcase, he strode over and began picking up splayed pieces of clothing.

"I never heard you say you'd mind," she said defensively, folding her arms across her chest. "What's mine is yours, and yours is mine, darling?" She tilted her head to the side thoughtfully. "Well at least until we get divorced, and then half of everything is mine."

"But it's still my shirt." Zach still averted his eyes, knowing how weak he felt when she was fully clothed. "And you don't just go into someone's things and start wearing them," he said, as if he were trial lawyer stating his case. "I mean, what if..."

"What if you started wearing my clothing?" she interrupted him, finishing his thought. "Well, honey, I'd start worrying, more than getting irate." She laughed at the image that popped up at her witty remark.

"Not the point," Zach sighed, rubbing his eyes. "The fact is, you didn't respect my privacy."

Kendall couldn't believe how annoyed and irritated he was getting over a simple white shirt. She was beginning to think it was about something else. But what? "Well I could just take it off for you," she smirked, turning the tension in the room to something else. Moving closer to him, she began to play with the collar of the loose shirt, until she stood only inches away. It could have been likened to something like a moth drawn to a flame.

Their eyes met. She could feel his warm breath against her skin; a sensation that relaxed her, yet sent a tingling sensation through her. He was so very near...

"What is this?" He grabbed her wrists, as her fingers continued to play with thin material, his eyes burrowing into hers. Did she know what she was doing - this game that she was playing - to him? Did she know he only had a certain amount of self control?

Could she tell him? Is this what she wanted? There had always been this fire between them - whether it was out of love or loathing - and she didn't know if was about to consume them both. _Is this how it's supposed to go?_

"Is this what you want?" he hissed, pulling her closer to him. He lowered his head until they touched, his eyes never leaving hers.

This feeling that burned deep inside of him, the fire she had reignited, that he thought he would never feel or want again, was near the stage of combustion. In this untouchable woman that stood in front of him he had found his equal. Beautiful and full of fire, she was not a woman to be controlled or manipulated. His wife was everything he wanted - and wanted right now.

Just as quickly as she had fallen so easily into the seduction, Kendall found herself quickly frightened at the nearness of him. What she wanted, the man she had so haplessly fallen in love with, stood in front of her. And suddenly a flood of memories filled her head, of the men she had fallen in love with - fallen into bed with - and she was terrified. She had given herself too easily and was left empty and broken; and it could not happen again - not again. "No," was all she said. And he had his answer. Zach quickly released her wrists as if her mere touch scorched him, turning his back to her. How could one woman drive a man to the height of love and to the depths of despair.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, backing away. Part of her didn't even know why she was apologizing. It was their dance - the dance they had done since the very beginning. However, this time it seemed they had crossed that line from subtle or playful banter, into a place where emotions and meaning lay.

"No," he said hoarsely, shaking his head. "No need." And with three words, the emotionless mask was donned again.

It was almost unnoticeable, but it was there. Kendall bit the inside of her cheek, slightly confused and bewildered at what she had seen. Had she seen a flicker of raw emotion from him? an image she had seen before, taunting her, reflected in her own eyes?

Then as if it were yesterday, the memory of the sound Zach's voice resurfaces, as if it had been yesterday. Deep in the darkness, she had heard his voice calling her name. She had heard him confessing to her, _'I'm falling in love with you.'_


	4. Chapter Three: Fear

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** I love the response. I'm so glad that my humble offering could bring such emotion and praise. You guys are so great to read the imaginings of my mind.  
**A/N 2:** Because God Rocks. That's all.

**Chapter Three: Fear**

The night had cooled incredibly, but still her body was warm from the memory of Zach's touch. As she lay staring at the ceiling she wished, she prayed that her mind, her body, her heart would forget about Zach Slater. If the night could wash away the emotion, the sentiment that had bridged the gap between her and her husband.

It was too much. She had enough to last a lifetime. And Zach was the last straw.

She would not give in. She was going to divorce this man if it killed her.

_--&--_

_I want to be with her._ A low grumbling filled his throat as those words filled his every thought. He had been tossing and turning on his makeshift bed ever since Kendall had retreated to her room.

_Frustration and exasperation._ That was what Kendall Hart brought into his life.

Sitting up, he ran this fingers through is hair, trying to push her from his mind. He was divorcing her tomorrow. He was a man of his word. _This is and was only ever a business arrangement...for her_ "Damn it," he said under his breath, soft enough that it would not have alerted Kendall to his meditations.

_This wasn't what was supposed to happen._ She was supposed to keep him from falling in love - not make him fall harder.

--&--

What she thought was morning sickness invaded her somewhat listless thoughts. Her stomach began to churn and she felt beads of sweat break out over her forehead. However, she found herself unable to move. Waves of nausea began to flood over her; her face began to burn up, as well as the rest of her body.

"Oh God please," she whispered, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. In some delirium, Kendall thought perhaps she could will away this helples feeling that was building up inside of her. "Stop. Please stop."

Kendall did not think that this was what it was going to be like. In all of the books she had read, and the videos she had watched, they had never described a feeling like this. She was hit with another wave of nausea, but now the sickness was mixed with a dull aching.

_What was going on?_

_--&--_

He could not sleep. There was a heaviness in the air. Whether it was a figment of his imagination or something truly palpable, was subjective.

Zach stood peering out into the black night sky. The stars twinkled above, chiding him, as if to ask, 'Why so downhearted?' While hovering above in false contentment.

He could see the white canopy enshrouding her bed. There were moments when he imagined hearing her breathe; all were tricks of his love-induced mind. It was something that needed to stop.

Soon the morning would come and it would bring something other than a ray of hope. It would bring an end instead of a new beginning. It was his own fault. He could blame no one else.

Zach wondered if he could bring anything else but pain to those he cared about...loved. _I cause pain where ever I go._ Maybe it was time for it to end?

Or so he thought until...

--&--

"Zach!" Out of fear and pain did her voice cry out. She thought this would pass. She thought she could handle it. "Zach, I need you," she pleaded, almost child-like.

The strain in her voice...it startled him into reality. He had never heard her so...so desperate, other than when he had watched her crumble into his arms during that one horrible night of mistakes. It put the fear of God in him.

Through the haze and confusion, she heard his footsteps. It seemed like a dream. Until she felt his cool, gentle touch, as his strong hands wiped away her tears, holding her safely in his arms.

"Hey, darling," he cooed softly, comfortingly. "I'm here. I'm right here." Seeing her lying there, helpless and in pain, was enough to make him tear down every wall in the place for help. But he had to remain strong for her. She was scared and lost in her own world. She needed him here. _Oh God, what was wrong with her?_ Her body trembled in his arms as he rocked her gently against him.

She didn't know what was happening, but instinct had her cradle her stomach in her arms. Just exactly when she fell in love with this little person inside of her - whether it was just yet or not - she didn't know, but it was a part of her. Kendall felt it. However, this havoc was not part of the plan. And though she felt wretched and she was writhing in agony, she knew it wasn't her that was in danger. No, not her. "Zach," she said through clenched teeth and tears. "The baby. I think there is something wrong with the baby.


	5. Chapter Four: Wishes

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** So where is my shiny thing? Huh huh huh huh?  
**A/N 2:** I told you guys I was evil. cackles.

**Chapter Four: Wishes**

White rays of light danced in front of him, as he rubbed his tired eyes, stiffly awakened in his chair, where he had unwittingly fallen asleep. His first thought was Kendall. Sitting up straight, he saw pale figure carefully tucked under the thin sheets of her hospital bed - the soft rhythmic beeping of her heart singing in the background.

Letting out a deep sigh of relief, Zach slid back into his chair, allowing the memory of the fear and tension from the unexpected events of the early morning to melt away. _She was okay._

"Mr. Slater?" A man with a thick accent called to him from the hallway. Zach recognized him as the doctor that wheeled Kendall behind the ugly beige doors with the foreboding red words 'For emergency personnel only'.

"Yes?" he answered, rising to his feet.

"Can I talk with you a moment?" The dark-skinned man glanced briefly over Zach's shoulder at Kendall. "In private?" he said solemnly.

Suddenly he felt a lump develop in his throat, almost choking him, as he nodded and followed the doctor into the hospital corridor. Zach knew this didn't bode well. Not once had he encountered a doctor in a hospital corridor, alone, where the words, 'I'm sorry' didn't follow. "W-what is it, Dr. Mulatto" he coughed, trying to release the frog in his throat. "Is there something wrong with her?"

Just saying the words felt like he was conceding to unbidden news.

"As you informed us early this morning," the doctor began, "your wife had been in a serious accident prior to your arriving in Port-au-Prince, correct?"

_What did I do?_ Was this his fault? Had he taken her on a strenuous trip before she had enough time to recover?

"Mr. Slater?"

"Yes," he replied, his thoughts drifting to what could possibly be wrong. Shaking his head, he forced himself to focus. "Yes, she was in a fire recently. She inhaled a lot of smoke, but the doctor assured me, she and the baby were fine."

"I'm afraid there were complications to Mrs. Slater's pregnancy that her doctor couldn't have foreseen," he explained softly.

"What are you talking about?" Zach didn't know how Dr. Madden, a prestigious doctor, could have missed something. Not when it was so important. "Tell me," he demanded. "What is wrong with Kendall?"

"Mr. Slater," the doctor moved in closer, as if to comfort him, "I'm sorry."

"W-what?" He backed away, refusing the kind gesture. "What happened to Kendall and the baby?"

"There were complications due to the stress and injury sustained by your wife..."

"Spit it out!" Zach didn't know how more he could take. It was as if he were trying to drag out the matter - make him suffer. "What is wrong with my wife?"

"You and your wife have lost your child."

--&--

It was like a dream and she had just woken up. Repelled by the smell of sterilization, Kendall was confused. She had been discharged from the PV General. In fact, she remembered flying to Haiti with Zach. _Where am I?_

Tiredly, Kendall forced her heavy lids open, cringing as the bright light of day intruded on the comforting darkness. "Zach," she coughed, her mouth dry and tasted of paste. "Zach, where are you?"

She closed her eyes, recounting the events of the past few days. None of it had been a dream. She remembered the flight and the awkward realization that they would have to share a room. There had been a heated conversation, which had left her frightened and regretful. Kendall could even recall the silent conversations she had with herself, trying to snap herself out of the impulse to call the divorce off. The night heat...

Her hand slid across her stomach, as the crisp itchy linen under her touch, suddenly filled her whole body with dread. The heat, the fever, the fear and pain - it all came rushing back. _Oh, please God._ She clenched her stomach, as if the gesture would somehow protect the life that was growing inside her. _The baby...what happened to the baby?_

--&--

As he tried to slip into the room unnoticed, Zach was startled to see Kendall curled up in a fetal position. Sweat gleamed upon her brow, as her eyes remained shut; her lips were moving, yet no words were heard. "Kendall," he whispered. Rushing to her side, he ran his fingers through her tangled curls, lowering his lips to her ear. "Kendall, wake up."

Her body felt like it was running its own course. Kendall wanted to wake up; but her eyes remained shut, paralyzed by fear.

"Honey," he said soothingly into her ear. Stroking her hair, as if the simple gesture would somehow draw her out of the nightmare she was in. "C'mon, baby. Wake up for Zach."

"No," she gasped as she sat up abruptly, her eyes wide open.

Startled by her sudden arousal, he smiled softly and comfortingly. "Hey there." His hands grasped her shoulders, as if to steady her. Her breathing was heavy and erratic. Her eyes seemed dilated and unfocused. "It was just a dream," he said reassuringly. "Just a bad dream."

Kendall licked her lips, her eyes darting around the unfamiliar room, trying to separate the nightmare from reality. _What happened?_ She began to tremble, allowing her body to crumble into the open arms before her. "What is going on?" she cried out, tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. "What is going on?"

_It's like she already knows._ Zach watched helplessly as Kendall physically began reacting to the unknown miscarriage., unable to anything but rest her head against his chest and hold her tightly. Her body was almost convulsing, it was shaking so hard.

"Mrs. Slater." The doctor's timing was impeccable.

Zach glanced furtively at the physician standing half-in and half-out of the hospital room. It was as if the man knew there was more pain to be brought upon the woman he cradled in his arms. "Not now," he said hoarsely, trying not to alert Kendall to the messenger of bad tidings.

"Mr. Slater," Dr. Mulatto answered. "Please."

"I said not now!" he said more forcefully this time.

Zach's sharp, commanding voice drew her from the emotional turmoil and back into the present. Forcing herself to regain some semblance of composure, she pulled away from his comforting embrace. "W-what's going on?" she asked, wiping away her tears. Her body involuntarily shuddered as it tried to catch its breath.

"Nothing to worry about now," Zach cooed gently, meanwhile his steady gaze remained upon the restless doctor.

Kendall gaze darted between the Zach, who seemed tense beyond all reason, and the doctor, who seemed mixed with compassion and fear. "What's going on here?" She didn't like what was going on between Zach and the man who apparently was her doctor? "Who are you?" she asked, wanting to confirm her suspicions.

"Kendall." Zach turned and forced Kendall to look him in the eye. "You shouldn't do this now," he said worriedly. "Your body is trying to recover..."

"Recover from what?" Kendall glanced over at the short, stocky man in the white labcoat. He seemed hesitant to speak, glancing over at Zach.

"You were brought in by your husband," the doctor spoke cautiously, "early this morning."

Every muscle in his body tensed, waiting to hear how the doctor would approach this situation. He had instructed Dr. MUlatto not to speak about the miscarriage, and when the man entered the room, Zach knew the man had not quite understood his 'orders'. "You weren't feeling well," he interrupted the kindly doctor. "And so I brought you to the hospital."

"A-And what did you find wrong with me?" It was the million dollar question. Of course, right now, it was only addressing her physical well-being. The other stuff...that would have to wait.

"Kendall," Zach hedged, wishing she wouldn't press the subject. "Don't."

She locked gazes with her husband, his dark eyes revealing something she had never seen before - fear. _Something was so wrong._ Kendall wanted to hide. She wanted to pull the covers over her head and run away from the reality that was knocking on her door.

He silently willed her to look away. Just this once, Zach prayed that she let 'that something' slide. Her life had been invested in this child, more deeply than he ever realized until that moment, when he saw her subconscious' violent reaction to the fact it had been robbed of new life.

"Tell me," she said, tearing her gaze from Zach and rested determinedly upon the doctor. "Tell me what is so bad."

"Mrs. Slater," Dr. Mulatoo began quietly, fidgeting with the chart in his hand. "As I stated earlier, you arrived to our emergency unit, incoherent and..."

"Stop," Zach commanded, rising from Kendall's hospital bed.

"Zach what are you doing?"

"Mr. Slater," the doctor spoke, his voice rising as if suddenly offended, "please do not make this any harder..."

"Dr. Mulatto," he said, his voice low and steady. "I'm sure you will understand when I tell you to: Get out."

"Zach, stop it." His behavior was frightening her. It had to be something horrible to cause him to react in such a retaliatory way.

"Since you've forced my hand," Zach said, his gaze never leaving the doctor. "_I_ will need a moment to speak to my wife."

The doctor seemed ready to protest; but at the last minute, he nodded agreeably and exited quietly.

"What the hell was that?" Kendall exclaimed angrily.

"Kendall..." His voice suddenly became soft and hoarse.

"I don't believe you," she said, folding her arms across her chest and slumping back against the bed. "He's _my_ doctor, Zach. Not yours. And just because you and I are still 'legally bound' to each other does not give you the right to..."

"Kendall!"

"What?" she yelled, matching his fervor.

"Listen to me," he said gently. His lips parted, but no words came. _How am I supposed to tell her_?

"What?"

"I have to tell you something."

"Was it the something you shut the poor doctor up about?" she challenged, pulling her knees to her chest. She didn't know why she did it. It felt comforting in someway, as if it would protect her from what was about to descend upon her. "Because I'm sure if it's some medical diagnosis, he'd explain it a whole heck of a lot better than..."

"Kendall, will you stop rambling?" He knew her flurry of words and accusations was a defensive mechanism. Kendall knew in the back of her mind that something was wrong. And she was doing everything she could to prolong it - prolong the arrival of the words he never wanted to say.

"Fine," she said dejectedly. "Explain." She gestured at him that she was waiting.

He sat down on the edge of her bed, slipping his hands into hers and resting them in her lap. _How was he supposed to explain to her that the miracle that was supposed to redeem herself in Greenlee's eyes as well as her own was gone?_

"Speak," she commanded, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. Cocky and arrogant Zach she could take; but solemn, foreboding Zach was something else. "Say something." She tried to pull her hands from his grasp, but he only clung to them harder.

"Last night," he began, unable to look her in the eyes, "I brought you into the ER. You were delusional and in agony." The memory of that night sent a shiver down his spine. He had no idea what had been wrong. It had come upon her quickly and violently. "Dr. Mulatto," he said, glancing back at the closed door. "He took you into the ER."

"I faintly remember," Kendall said softly, as the memory of rushing lights and Zach's soothing voice swirled in her head.

"You were in there for what seemed like forever," he sighed, staring down at her thin frail hands. "And then they wheeled you right past me. No one wanted to tell me what was going on."

"Because you cared so much," she said dryly, shaking her head.

"Don't." Zach cut her off abruptly, grasping her chin and forcing her to meet his gaze. He had said the words, but her rejection or disbelief cut him to the bone. He had never lied about that - his feelings for her. "I won't say it again, Kendall," he paused, "I care."

Kendall wanted to turn away, but he wouldn't let her. His index finger kept her gaze fixed upon his. It was then that she saw that he truly meant it. She had always questioned the merit of his affection. Part of her had believed that it was all in her head. She saw what she wanted to see, and that was what had gotten her into trouble in the first place. "I-I know," she said quietly, finally willing to accept those words - his declaration to her. "I know that you do."

"And I want you to know I will always be here for you."

Again, with the foreboding.

"Because I care."

"W-Why are you saying all of this?" she said, bursting out in frustration. She was tired of circling around the truth that he seemed to believe would break her. "It's like I'm on my death bed or something."

"No," Zach sighed, now wishing he had let the doctor speak the truth. "You're not dying." Though when he told her, she might wish she were.

"Then what is it?" She was ready to throw things. Her body was wracked with anxiety that something could be wrong with the baby. _The baby_. Her thoughts trailed back to her last memory of last night...

_'Zach, the baby. I think there is something wrong with the baby.'_

Kendall closed her eyes, wishing she had never woken up. The nightmare seemed like child's play compared to this..._Oh please God, no._

"Kendall, we lost the baby."

--&--

_No. He was lying._ This man, whom she believed had a heart worth loving, was a liar. He had proved it time and time again.

And he was doing it to her face. He had no qualms allowing Greenlee to suffer during Ryan's so-called 'death'. This was just payback; whether it was for choosing to divorce him or having another man's child. He had said he was behind her all the way, but he hadn't been.

"I'm sorry, Kendall."

_No. It's not true._ Her heart felt like it had stopped. Was she breathing? Shaking her head, she cradled her stomach, as everything around her was beginning to blur. Suddenly she felt hot wet tears scorching their path down her cheeks. _No, baby, I'm here. You're still with me._

"Kendall, honey?" The lone cold voice echoed in the distance, as she struggled to understand why he would hurt her like this. What had she done to him? "Are you all right?" he asked, touching her arm.

"Get away from me!" she screamed, pushing him away. She wanted nothing from him. Never ever again. "Don't touch me."

Scrambling to free herself from the tangle of sheets, Kendall tried to escape from her white-washed prison. _What did I do? What did I do to deserve this?_ She felt a lump in her throat, as she struggled against the well of tears brimming over.

She had to get out of there.

"Kendall."

And there he was again!

"Just stay away," she yelled, as she found her arms entangled, unable to be free. He was trying to capture her arms, keep her a prisoner. "You are a liar. YOU ARE LYING!"

--&--

"You are a liar. YOU ARE LYING!"

Her eyes were wild; her face heated, and her arms struggling against him. She fought to run; but there was nowhere to run. Kendall had lost her child, and there was no running from that truth.

"I'm here," he whispered, trying to calm her. "I'm right here."

"No!" she shouted fiercely. "Get away from me."

Her breathing was heavy and fast. He knew she was beginning to hyperventilate, as she still fought to wrest herself from his grasp. "Kendall, stop fighting me," he said calmly, though his heart was breaking for her. "Please."

"You're lying to me," she declared through tears. She looked at him as if he were a stranger. "Why? Why do you want to hurt me like this? Why?" Her green eyes searched his in desperation and anger.

"I'm not," he said hoarsely. "I'm not."

"Oh God, why?" Her body rose, as if straining to expel its' demons from its' weak human shell. "Why?"

The harder she struggled against him, the tighter he held her. Her body rebelled against his control. _I'm so sorry_. He had never experienced this type of agony, finding himself struggling with his own emotions.

Her body pushed against him, her voice filling the room with its strangled cries, before collapsing against him. Her body shaking in his arms. Zach closed the distance her struggle had put between them, as her body began to shudder, wracked with anguished sobs. "No," she sobbed. "He's not gone...you're wrong!"

He held her tightly, caressing her hair; as he felt hot wet tears burn down his own cheeks. "I wish I were, Kendall," he whispered into her ear. "I wish I was."


	6. Chapter Five: A Reprieve of Sorts

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** Ooooh puuuurdy:plays with mesmerizing shiny:  
**A/N 2:** Holla to Zach and Kendall readers/posters! You guys totally rock and keep me amused. Even if you don't know you're doing it!  
**A/N 3:** FYI, I have created a Zendall fanfic community over at Please come over and join or enjoy. If you have an account there, I wouldn't mind some 'staff' :hehehe: to help me manage and find some good fics to add. Oh, and just know that I try to keep the ratings below NC-17. Yeah, keep your boos to yourself. Dirty girls...

**Chapter Five: A Reprieve of Sorts**

She had been staring out that window for the past fifteen minutes. He had been watching her doing that for the past fifteen minutes. There had been no words during the car ride home. Dr. Mulatto had released her the day after. They had been handed pamphlets about grief and 'the loss of a child'. _Condescending bastards._ They knew nothing about it.

"Kendall," he said, finally managing to find his voice. "What did Greenlee say to you?"

Against his advice and pleading, Kendall insisted that Greenlee should be phoned. It had been after she had settled down from the breakdown over the news of the miscarriage. He had left the room, promising to give her privacy throughout the conversation. And he kept his promises.

However, he did watch anxiously through the narrow glass pane, that allowed doctors (and himself in this case) to peer in on the patient. The conversation had begun softly and solemnly. The tears began to flow two words into the call. He watched Kendall cradle the phone in her hand, as if somehow to comfort Greenlee who was hundreds of thousands of miles away; and then the questions began. Zach was sure they were more like accusations. There were animated gestures along with more tears.

All the while, he never approached the door. He had no idea how he did it. It was amazing the amount of self-restraint he had. Sometimes it surprised him. It took everything in him not to barge into the room and order Greenlee to stop interrogating the most amazing and generous woman that lived.

"Hm?" There was no other response.

Zach slowly made his way across the room, until he stood behind his wife. She wore a loose aquamarine wrap dress that he had bought her when they discharged her that day, since she did not have a change of clothing. Raising his hands, they hovered inches away from her bare arms,but he could not bring himself to touch her. Ever since she had crumbled into his arms at the hospital, Kendall had refused any human touch - any comfort. "What did Greenlee say to you?" he asked softly. "Did she...hurt you?"

This caught Kendall's attention. She turned around to face him - only inches away from him. "Did she _hurt_ me?" Her tone was quizzical, laced with a hint of anger. "Zach, _I_ was the one who killed her child," she said calmly. "How could _she_ hurt me?"

"Kendall, you couldn't have known," he said soothingly. "You heard what Dr. Mulatto said, the way the baby was positioned, no one knew the cord had been slightly severed; nevertheless, know that the cord would tear. Even Dr. Madden's trained eye did not see it."

There was no way for the baby to survive. It lacked the nourishment it needed to develop and mature. He blamed Dr. Madden for this all. He had stuck this crazy idea in Kendall's head - for her to carry Ryan and Greenlee's child. And now Kendall was alone, dealing with the loss of a child and also Greenlee's fury.

"But _I_ should have known!" Kendall hissed. "It was inside of me. It was a part of me. How could I have not known something wasn't wrong?"

"Kendall, you were only a few weeks into the pregnancy," Zach said in disbelief. "You are not responsible for what happened."

"If I hadn't argued with Greenlee in that fire," she whispered distantly. "Then this wouldn't have happened."

"Stop this," he grabbed her, forcing her to look into his eyes. "You are not responsible. You stayed in there because you loved Greenlee and she was trapped, frightened, and alone."

"What do you understand?" Her eyes were dark and clouded. He could not see a light at the end of her tunnel. She was spiraling down from the tragedy. "Do you know what it is like to want to give someone such a selfless gift?" she spat. "Do you know what it's like to know that your best friend and someone you love is hurting so much worse than you are? As if that was humanly possible?"

What could he say to that? She was hurting. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do.

--&--

Empty. Now she truly knew what the meaning of the word was. She had thought she had felt empty when she lost Ryan to Greenlee. She had thought she had felt empty when Erica rejected her time and time again. But no, that wasn't even quite there. This was empty. This was an empty void.

She wanted to just crawl up into a ball and die. Though she hadn't truly known the child - felt it kick or move inside of her - there was a sense of loss. Kendall couldn't imagine what it would have been like if it was further in the pregnancy.

_What am I supposed to do now?_ Greenlee was insanely angry at her. Her only consolation was the fact that Ryan was there with her. She had Ryan there to console her. _Who do I have?_

She glanced into the other room, where Zach was pacing back and forth, talking on his cell phone. He retreated quickly when she had freaked out at him. Part of her felt horrible for blaming him. Kendall could not voice how grateful she was that he had been there for her. Closing her eyes, she felt herself bogged down with feelings of anger and grief. She let out a deep breath. _He probably did it out of a sense of obligation._

Though her consolation was that her child, hers and Greenlee's, was not the last chance Greenlee could have at a family with Ryan. Vasectomies had been reversed. And Greenlee was still producing eggs...However, the light that shined upon the idea of offering to be the surrogate had somehow dimmed. She could not fathom offering in the near future. After losing this one, she could hardly think straight - let alone try to replace it with another child.

So what was she to do? _I should go back to Pine Valley, and help Greenlee plan a memorial or something._ The thought brought her to near tears. Shaking her head, Kendall tightly hugged the pillow she had against her body. She couldn't deal with the drama that was about to ensue. Greenlee, Ryan, Erica, and Jack...she needed time to think.

Only 32 hours ago she had been the ecstatic host for a miracle. Now she was devoid - a mere shell. She had no purpose anymore.

--&--

Sitting on the veranda, Kendall stared mindlessly at the brilliant waves of blue that lapped up on the shore. Though life had ended just the night before, the world still kept turning. It didn't cloud over the bright rays of the sun; everything moved on.

"Hey." Though he was only an arms length away, he could have been in Pine Valley at that moment. "Are you..."

"If you say 'fine' one more time I'm going to climb one of those trees myself," she pointed to the unwavering towering groves, "and knock you up side the head with a coconut."

"Okay." The corner of his lip curled at her unexpected little quips. "No health questions," he chuckled. Pulling a chair up along side her, Zach sat down, staring at her. She was stunning. Even in misery, Kendall Hart was beautiful.

"What are you doing?" He always did that. Zach had this nasty habit of staring at her. It wouldn't have annoyed her so, except his piercing dark eyes, even though nothing physical, reached out and touched her. It was unnerving at best.

"I'm just sitting here," he replied with a shrug. "Is that a problem?"

A problem? _No. No problem at all_. Except the man that she loved, but hated, was staring at her. And the fact that part of her was craving it and hating it at the same time.

Of course he wanted her to say there was a problem. Zach loved to watch her explode and torment her, until she blurted out her innermost secrets and exploded into oblivion. "No problem." She mimicked him, shrugging, and feigned disinterest, keeping her focus on the rolling waves, as she watched him out of the corner of her eye.

"So do you think you'll be leaving today?" The question almost caught in his throat. He wanted her to stay. Zach wanted her to want to stay with him. Here, he could shield her from the insanity that was abounding in a town that could have been a million miles away right then.

"You want me to leave?" She turned her head slightly, her eyes shifting briefly over at him.

"No," he answered without hesitation. He couldn't answer any other way. It was the truth - something she wanted more than anything from those in her life; yet ironically it was something she couldn't hold to. "But it isn't about what I want, right?"

"R-Right." Kendall ignored the implied question. She turned her attention back to the ocean before her. "And I don't think I should leave just yet," she declared matter-of-factly. "Dr. Mulatto says I should avoid any stress during my recovery."

"Will wonders never cease, Kendall Hart following orders," he chuckled, leaning back in his chair.

"Slater." She closed her eyes as she realized her unwitting mistake.

"Wh-what?"

"Kendall Hart _Slater_," she breathed, her eyes remaining shut. "It's Kendall Hart Slater."

"Right," Zach said slowly. Part of him wanted to smile at how logistical she was being. But part of him was not quite sure what that meant. A certain red-headed broad would have said that it was an unexpressed desire on Kendall's part. "You're right."

She forced herself to look at him. He wasn't smirking as she would have expected. Instead, he was just staring...again. It was the same thoughtful expression he had when they were both trying to predict Ryan's reaction to Greenlee's news. He seemed slightly puzzled or confused. "Of course I'm right," she said gruffly. "Haven't you learned that little tid-bit yet, dear husband of mine?"

"Oh, I knew," he nodded absent-mindedly. "It just slipped my mind for a moment."

"Zach," she said, turning to him, as the moment turned serious. "I n-need time...time to process."

"Of course." He hadn't expected anything less. But what surprised him was how well she was taking it. His thoughts trailed back to the morning he had told her about the baby. _Maybe that was all she needed to let it go?_

Inwardly, he rolled his eyes at himself. Who was he kidding? Kendall hadn't even scratched the surface of her grief. But instead, she showed her resilience by handling her pain with grace and strength - a trait that showed itself at the most unexpected times.

"So this divorce," she whispered. Kendall turned to face him once again.

_'Why are you doing this? What is the reason? Why stay?' a voice questioned shrilly._

Kendall closed her eyes, as if that would shut out the accusing voices in her head.

"Yeah?" he said expectantly. Was she going to push forward with it today of all days?

"I...I," she stammered, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "I want to postpone it."

_Postpone_. That he never saw coming. Part of him rejoiced at the reprieve. "Postpone?"

"Is this a problem?" Kendall's head spun around, her uncertain gaze met his waiting gaze. Had she made a selfish mistake? _Of course, why would he want to postphone...Just take it back. Take it back. _"Because we _could_..."

"No." He smiled softly. He let out a slow even breath, unaware that he had been holding it. "This is good," Zach answered, rubbing his hands together. "We'll postpone the divorce."


	7. Chapter Six: Always There

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** This is for Liz who is my savior, granting me the gift of the Zendall purdy moments!  
**A/N 2:** Gidget who still likes me even though I do like Jono/Lily and Erin/Aiden!

**Chapter Six: Always There**

"You should eat something," Zach suggested, looking up from the files sitting on his lap. "Keep up your strength."

"What are you my nutritionist?" Kendall snapped, leaning against the windowframe.

"No," he sighed, placing the papers on the coffee table. "But you haven't eaten all day. And you need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"It doesn't matter whether you're hungry, you need to eat."

"What is this need to boss me around?" Kendall exclaimed irritably. "I'm not hungry, so I'm not eating. When I'm hungry, I'll eat." She pushed off the frame and walked onto her side of the room. She needed to get out of here. If Zach asked one more question out of concern or duty, Kendall was going to scream.

Zach ran the back of his hand against his jaw, not knowing how to help her. He knew he should just give her space. She just needed time to think. But part of him did not want her to fall into a dark place; somewhere she would not be able to find her way out of.

Leaning against the entranceway that separated their 'living quarters', Zach watched her grab a pair of sunglasses and her purse. "Going somewhere?" he asked casually.

"Yes," she answered without a glance back. "I'm going out."

"Great," he chirped. "I'll come with."

"What?" Kendall spun around and frowned. "You're not going to with me."

"Well, how are you going to find your way around?" He knew it was a lame excuse, but he also knew it was hectic out in the city, with the celebrations and all.

"I'm a big girl, Zach," she replied dryly. "I can take care of myself."

"Oh, it's no trouble," he grinned. "I need to get my head out of work, for a while anyways."

"Okay, let me say this in simple English so you can understand," Kendall said, slightly exacerbated. "Leave...me...alone."

Zach could tell she meant business. But she had only gotten out of the hospital, and being the stubborn woman that she was, would never admit to anyone, let alone herself, that she was anything but fine. However, arguing with her would get him nowhere. "Fine," he said, backing off. "Enjoy your little adventure."

"Thank you." Kendall furrowed her brow, unsure that he truly meant it. He never backed off that easily. "So you're not going to sick your henchmen on me, reporting back my every move?" she asked suspiciously, walking towards him.

"Nope." He slipped his hands in his pockets and leaned forward on the balls of his feet and back down. "You give me more credit than I deserve," he chuckled. "I don't have henchmen here in Haiti. I mean, sure, Brazil and all the rest of South America...but not here. To expensive. They're unionized here, you know?"

Kendall couldn't help but crack a smile at that. "You're such a dork, sometimes. Did you know that?"

"Part of the charm," Zach smirked. "Don't you think?"

_Yes._ Kendall rolled her eyes and groaned. "Oh brother," she muttered, pushing him back lightly, as she slipped past him and headed towards the door.

"Have a good time," he called out, watching the door close behind her.

Why would he send people to follow her, when he could do a capable job on his own?

>>>

The winding streets crowded with people was almost suffocating. It was loud and hot. And it made this little jaunt almost insufferable. Midway through her little adventure, Kendall had realized that perhaps going out in the late-morning/early afternoon heat wasn't the best timing. She could feel the sweat stick to her skin, as she tried to consciously walk through the shaded areas of the city.

With wall to wall people on the streets, travelling by taxi or car wasn't even an option. Officers and soldiers could be seen lining the streets, weapons brandished. Kendall wasn't sure whether she should feel safe or scared.

Suddenly Kendall felt an elbow jab into her side as she tried her best to manuevor around the congested traffic. Spinning around, she tried to find the culprit, but she knew it was impossible not to encounter an elbow or any other kind of appendage in this insanity. She was beginning to feel suffocated. And part of her now wished she had taken Zach up on his offer. Kendall frowned. "No, you don't need him," she muttered to herself. "You don't need a man to save you."

Rolling her shoulders back, jaw set, Kendall scanned the streets, for a little coffee shop or restaurant where she could possibly stop for a minute, to catch her breath. Kitty corner from her, she spotted what looked to be a coffee shop. _Finally, something goes my way._ Without the slightest amount of planning, Kendall had gone out without knowing where she was going or even where to start. It wasn't your typical tourist-friendly city, where you could walk a few blocks and stumble upon a few interesting monuments or a rainforest. As well, she had opted for a taxi, and the driver ended up dropping her off in the middle of this craziness. She had tried to make the best of it, but her whole day was beginning to like a write-off.

Pushing her way through the crowd, she felt herself jostled back and forth, as most of the native people seemed unaware of her presence. She was just another person in their pathway. As she was about to lunge forward, she felt a tug at her arm, and then her purse. With her right hand, Kendall reached to secure it, but it was too late. Her leather Gucci bag slipped from under her arm and as she tried to turn around to see who was the thief, she was pushed off balance and suddenly felt herself falling backwards. Her arms flailed as she tried to find something to steady herself, but there was nothing.

Her heart was racing, as she felt helpless to do anything. The sea of faces seemed unaffected by her situation, and Kendall realized that no one was going to stop for her, no one was going to make way for her. Suddenly she felt overwhelmed with the image of being trampled on by the steady stream of moving people. _Oh God, help me._

Kendall felt herself hit the cement street, her arms entangled in legs and feet, unable to brace her body for the impact. What little space she had reserved for herself with her body mass, dissolved as the sea of people consumed her, her world suddenly enveloped in darkness. "Somebody!" she cried, finding herself beginning to hyperventilate. "People, stop!" A mash of knees and feet began to nip at her hands and legs. She tried to find some ground to push herself up, but there was nothing but moving feet in the pursuit of a nameless destination. No one could see her. "Somebody stop! Please! Help!"

Her mind was racing as she tried to protect herself from the charge of sharp knees and careless feet, that were jabbing her in the side, stepping on her as if she were nothing. _Oh God, please. Help me. Somebody help me._ Wrapping her arms around her head, she tried to curl up in a tight ball, to protect herself from the throng of people that did not cease to surge forward.

_Stop. Somebody just make it stop._

>>>

All she could remember was the feel of two strong hands grasp her shoulders and pull her up towards the light. She did not open her eyes, afraid that this was all a dream. Her head rested against the stranger's chest, as she felt their arm wrapped around her protectively as they guided her out of the crowd and into the safe protection of a car.

"Are you all right?" Zach asked pensively. She was quiet and her arms covering her face. "Kendall, are you okay?"

Her heart still raced. She could hear still hear the loud voices and shoes hitting the pavement.

"Kendall," he said softly, gently grasping her wrists and pulling them slowly away from her frightened face. "You're safe now. You're safe."

"Oh god, Zach!" Kendall cried softly, flinging herself into his arms. "I thought I was going to die out there. They wouldn't stop. They just wouldn't stop. I couldn't breathe and I could get up. It was like I was drowning."

"Shhh," he said soothingly, enfolding her in his arms gently, not wanting to hurt her. "You're okay now."

He was amused as Kendall began her journey seemingly lost. The woman had been so stubborn, she refused to even ask for help from strangers on the street. He thought the day would be a quiet trip, with her getting lost, and perhaps the chance of stepping in once she was sufficiently lost, teasing her about the whole situation. But the crowds got thicker and the distance between them wider. He still had an eye on her, as he was a little more than a head taller than most of the Haitians, as was Kendall. However, he tensed when she seemed to lose her balance. Her expression turned from angry to fearful. When he tried to reach her, the crowd in front of him resisted and pushed him back. And his heart began to pound against his chest as he watched her face disappear under the mesh of colored shirts and morose faces.

It took what seemed like forever to reach the spot he last saw her. There was no sign of her when he got there, but diving below into the darkness of the mass of bodies, he caught a glimpse of her body, curled up in a fetal position. With all his strength, he managed to create enough space between Kendall and the crowd, to pick her up into his arms.

He never should have let her go so far out of reach. It was a stupid mistake. And it would never happen again.

Her body trembled against his. His feeble attempt to comfort her was all that he had to offer. Comforting her during his mistakes seemed like his lot in this lifetime. _And this was due to my mistake again._

>>>

He had been silent throughout the remainder of the ride home. Kendall had been grateful because she had definitely not been in the mood for his attempts to cheer her up. But now, as the silence seemed to loom between them, she wondered what was the matter. Once they arrived back at the hotel room, he had buried his head in paperwork. It was as if he could not bring himself to look at her.

Kendall hated this. But this is what she had asked for, hadn't it been? She had asked him to leave her alone. _But he never listens to what I say._ That is what saved her that afternoon.

He was always there when she needed her.

"Zach?" She awkwardly entered the living room, where he was busily jotting notes in his files and organizing his papers.

"Hm?" He did not look up at her.

"Zach," she said more firmly this time. This caused him to look up at her.

"Yes?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," he replied, turning back to his work. "Go ahead. I'll listen while finishing this paperwork."

_Finish his paperwork? That's how high I rank?_

"No, that's okay," she said stiffly, unable to hide her annoyance. "You finish your _paper_work."

"What?" Zach frowned, looking up from his work. "I can listen, really. What's the problem?"

"Nothing." She refused to talk to him like this. He obviously wasn't too interested in what had happened to her that afternoon. It was some kind of fantasy that it had been fate that he had been there to save her.

"Obviously it's something," he said knowingly. "So talk. What is it?"

"No," she said irritably. "Not when you're like this."

"Like what?" He seemed confused, shaking his head as he looked at her curiously.

"You're just there," she gestured towards him with her hands, "like a lump. I can't talk to a lump."

"Okay, you're losing me again," he said, clasping his hands together. "You wanted to talk to me about something. I told you I was listening..."

"But you weren't listening!" she exclaimed angrily, throwing her hands up in the air. "Just...Just never mind!" She stalked out of the room and out onto the veranda outside of the bedroom.

Taking a deep breath of the ocean air, she tried to calm herself. Zach always had this way of exasperating her with the simplist things he did. _This...this is the reason I should be divorcing him. It would never work. He would drive me insane!_

"What's up?" he said huskily. He was standing right behind her.

"It was nothing," she said dismissively, stiffening at the feel of his presence. "It was stupid. I shouldn't have bothered."

"What," he leaned in, his lips grazing her ear, "is it?"

Kendall closed her eyes, imagining what it would have been like to have him wrap his arms around her. Because he was so near, she allowed herself to breath in the mixture of his cologne mixed with the ocean air. When had he begun to have this affect on her? When?

"Kendall?"

Snapping out of her reverie, she came to her senses and slipped past him, turning around to face him. "I said nothing," she stated firmly. "So give it a rest."

"You're the one who wanted to talk," he pointed out. "Not me. So why the sudden change of mind?"

"Because...Because you're you!" she huffed, unable to think of a logical reason at the moment.

"O-kay," he replied, raising a curious brow.

Part of her wanted to wipe that smirk of his face. He was always so cool. So calm. It made her want to throw something at him! "Oh stop being so condescending."

"Condescending?"

"Yes! Condescending!" she exclaimed, unable to control this sudden rage that was rising up within her. "You're always so condescending. You always act like you have everything under control. You don't have feelings and you don't get flustered. You stand there, looking at me like you know me so well!"

"I'm...uh, sorry?"

Except that he didn't seem so.

"Don't say that to placate me," she barked, throwing her hands up in the air. "You say things that make me so angry sometimes. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Okay," he said, shaking his head, completely confused. "I _was_ leaving you alone. And then you were upset that I was. And now you're upset that I'm not?" He chuckled. "Could you just fill me in on what's going on in that beautiful, but merry-go-round head of yours?"

"Okay, now you're calling me a ditz?" She knew she sounded irrational, but she couldn't help it. The sudden rush of emotions that filled her seemed to come out of nowhere. And she needed to vent.

"Okay, this is a no-win situation you've put me in, isn't it?"

She refused to reply, folding her arms across her chest.

"Well, until you calm down, I'm just going to go back to my side of the room, all right?" he offered, moving towards the door. "And it's not because I think you're a ditz or am trying to be exasperating. I just don't feel like being yelled at right now."

Her lips parted to respond, but then she decided against it. Instead, she watched as he disappeared into the other room. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ She screamed silently, the rage inside of her still burning.

>>>

The rest of the night had been uneventful. Kendall had opted not to come and talk to him again. Which was fine with him at this point. He was still trying to figure out what he wanted. Part of him wanted to figure out a way to convince her to call of this whole divorce for good, but then there was a part of him telling him to run as fast as he could.

As he lay on the couch in the darkness, he could not stop the voice in his head listing all of the ways he had managed to hurt everyone he cared out. His type of love was the kind that was best left unrevealed. Already he had manged to hurt Kendall far more than he imagined possible. His kind of love had watched her suffer the loss of a child, as well, almost watch her get trampled to death.

What could she possibly want with that kind of love? What could he possibly offer her?

Unable to sleep, Zach got up to get a drink of water when he thought he heard a noise coming from Kendall's bedroom. Furrowing his brow, he stopped midstride to confirm his suspicions, wondering if it was his imagination. He heard the rustling of sheets. Quietly he moved towards the bedroom, listening earnestly for anything unusual.

Her voice. Or to be more specific, an almost inaudible cry. Leaning against the doorframe, he heard soft sniffling and whimpering. The glow of the moonlight filtered into the room, lighting upon her lithe frame. She was curled up on the bed, facing away from him.

Kendall had been so angry that night. He had been caught up in his own thoughts and how he could help her. Instead of paying attention to what was going on inside of her. She was good. The woman knew how to wear a mask. Although he knew she was suffering from the loss of the child, he should have known that day's events would have compounded it.

And now the impact of the loss and the trauma from that day was hitting her. Her cries were soft and muffled, as if even now, she was trying to hide her grief and pain.

Without a second thought, Zach approached the bed, lifting the veil that shadowed her. He stood there a moment, wondering if she would protest, but she didn't move. It was as if she didn't even know he was there - too deep in her sorrow and angst. Slipping onto the bed, he drew near, lying on his side. Hesitantly, he reached out and caressed her soft brown hair, brushing it out of her eyes. Her tears shimmered under the moonlight, as he turned her towards him - their eyes locking for a moment.

Without a word, Kendall buried her head in his chest, as his arms embraced her. He knew they would soon part. There was too much pain that he caused, but for that night, he would be her comfort. For that night, he could hold her trembling body and finally offer her something she needed.


	8. Chapter Seven: One Perfect Night

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** And NO! You dirty minded girls...PG13 guys. It's PG 13!  
**A/N 2:** They like me...sniff sniff They REALLY REALLY like me!

**Chapter Seven: One Perfect Night**

Letting out a relaxed sigh, Kendall rubbed her eyes, the rays of the morning sun filtering through the netted canopy. Light resting her hand in front of her, she felt the feel of silk and flesh under her fingertips. Opening her eyes, glanced down to see herself propped up against a body. Her night was a haze, recalling the dark, vivid nightmares that haunted her. She didn't remember when they stopped, but comfort swept over her in the middle of the night.

Kendall licked her lips, her body tense at the realization that Zach was lying next to her; in fact, she was lying practically on top of her soon-to-be ex-husband. Pulling away slightly, she glanced up to check if he was awake; but he seemed to be knocked out, her movement not even jarring him from his sound sleep. _I need to get out of here._ Looking over her shoulder, she observed Zach's arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close. _But how?_

With her right hand, she rested her hand on top of Zach's, which rested lightly on her hip. Glancing furtively back at him, not wanting to wake him, Kendall slid his hand down, trying to extract herself from his arms. However, she froze mid-move, as Zach snorted and shifted his body slightly, his hand pulling her closer to him. She closed her eyes, completely aware of how warm and comforting it felt lying next to him - to be held by him, and bit her bottom lip. _Just think about ugly kittens, catfish, and cold winters_. Kendall tried to distract herself from the impulsive thoughts running through her head about languishing in his embrace, allowing herself to enjoy this moment for the time being.

_This is not good._

Opening her eyes, she gave in to her weak desires. Kendall allowed herself to study Zach's face: rugged features, only made more handsome by the scruff that had been allowed to grow during his departure from civilization; his face, usually creased with worry, or his brow furrowed by frustration caused usually by her or some member of her family, was now calm and serene. In fact, she could have sworn there was a hint of a smile on his warm...inviting lips. _Stop it. Just wake him up, or you'll get yourself in way too deep._

But she ignored her own warnings. This was probably the only opportunity she would ever have to be this close to Zach, without his eyes gazing at her like he was about to devour her or scrutinizing her every move. No, she had to take this opportunity to get to know Zach Slater without all the BS. _I wonder if he talks in his sleep._

Then a brilliant idea dawned on Kendall. _Ask him questions and see if he responds_. It would be a if-y at best. The corners of her lips curled slightly at the secrets she could possibly extract from him. Worth the risk? _Hell ya._

"Zach," she whispered, nudging him slightly with his her hand. "Are you awake?"

There was no real response, other than slight grunting.

"Zach, are you listening?"

"Mmrm," he grunted again.

"Kendall," she whispered, unsure of how to go about this. "Kendall Hart."

"Mm, Kendall," he growled, shifting his position on the bed again. Kendall moved with him, not wanting to wake him, ruining her plan. "Kendall."

_How am I supposed to get him to talk?_ She pondered her dilemma for a moment before realizing how she could elicit a response. "Kendall and Ryan," she breathed, leaning in closer to her ear.

"Ryan!" he barked loudly, his brow furrowing at the apparently hateful name. "He'd stay away...better stay away."

Kendall could not help but smile at this response, biting the corner of her lip, hoping she would be able to get closer to the heart of Zach Slater. "But what about Kendall?"

"Kendall," he breathed. She felt his body relax as he spoke her name. "She's...beautiful. Eyes so...I l-vser" His words suddenly became jumbled at the end, as he coughed and growled in his sleep. She was unable to make out what he said.

"You what?" Kendall's heart began to pound against her chest, her ears perking at the last few syllables. Leaning in further, she began stroking his chest, trying to soothe him back into uninterrupted sleep. "What did you say?" she asked him again.

There was no response.

"Zach," Kendall hissed, leaning in as far as she dared, her lips only centimeters away from his ear. Her gaze focused upon his sleeping face. "Zach, what did you say? Did you say, 'love'?" Her stomach did a flip at the word.

Was she insane for believing his profession of love wasn't just a figment of her imagination?

--&--

"Zach, what did you say?" Kendall whispered again.

"Mmm, what did I say when?" Zach asked huskily, opening his eyes to find Kendall only millimeters away from him.

Kendall froze, unable to think of what to say. Her body tensed as she was acutely aware of his hand gently caressing her back. Swallowing hard, she licked her lips, trying to buy herself time as she came up with a plausible excuse as to why she was on top of him. "U-uh," she stammered, lowering her eyes, unable to meet his questioning gaze, only to be met by the image of his parted lips. Kendall was sure her heart was about to jump out of her chest, it was beating so hard.

"What is it you're looking for?" He could see the blood rushing to her cheeks, as she shied away from his probing questions. He tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"Uh, nothing." Kendall pulled away quickly, trying to extract herself from the somewhat compromising position.

Zach stretched leisurely, resting his hands behind his head, watching Kendall scramble anxiously away from him. He believed that was the best wake-up call he'd had. Well, since he had married Kendall, at least. "Was there anything I can help you with?"

"There isn't anything _you_ can help me with," she replied testily, silently chiding herself for getting so involved - so careless. "So why don't you go back to your _own_ bed, and let me sleep in peace."

"You didn't seem so peaceful last night," he commented casually, watching her out of the corner of his eye. "Bad dreams?"

Kendall pulled heartily at the covers, bundling them up to her neck. They hadn't quite been dreams. Now that she was more awake, Kendall recalled what brought Zach into her bed. "I don't remember," she lied.

"Are you feeling tired?" Zach asked, clearing his voice, becoming more serious and concerned. "Because if you did have trouble sleeping, I could certainly leave you to..."

"No, Zach," she sighed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "Don't bother." She actually had slept well, at least, as far as she 'couldn't' remember - not being awakened by horrible, haunted dreams.

"If you're tired," he said, ignoring her slight dismissal. "I can leave the room. I do have some errands I could run."

"I'm fine," she stated firmly. "So you don't have to leave the room on my account. I was...I was overreacting before." Running her fingers through her unkempt hair. "I was just startled to find my husband actually sleeping right beside me."

"It's not a new concept," he chuckled. "Some husbands and wives do it every day."

"Yeah, well," she scoffed. "We're not just _any_ husband and wife duo, are we?"

Zach knew that. He was painfully aware of that.

"But you can get out of bed, so we can start our day," Kendall chirped, wanting to distract him from the entanglment they had found themselves in.

"Our day?" He frowned. It sounded as if they would be spending it together.

"Yes," she nodded, "our day together."

"But...but I thought you didn't _need_ a man to show you around?" He raised a questioning brow, trying to keep the smirk from curling at the corners of his lips.

"Well, yesterday proved that theory isn't viable," she huffed. "Since this festival thing is on. All the crazies are out. Under normal circumstances I would not need a...a companion for my outings..."

"Companion?" He thought he had suddenly slipped into a Jane Austen novel.

"You know what I mean," she said, flustered by Zach's not-so-witty comments. Suddenly she felt more independent. _Do I really need this arrogant, egocentric lump escorting me around? He'll be razzing me all day._ Suddenly she changed her mind. "You know what? Never mind..."

"Hey," he reached out and took her hand, "I'm teasing. Sorry." He pulled her hand near. "No more snide remarks," he said, not wanting to start the day on the wrong foot. "Promise."

Kendall studied him, her eyes narrowing, wondering how sincere he was being. "You promise?" she said slowly, her eyes never leaving his. He nodded his confirmation. "How do I know I can trust you to keep your promise?"

"I always keep my promises."

Kendall bit the inside of her cheek, as she tried to think of an instance where he had ever broken his promise to her. She had a list for the other men in her life, even the women in her life, but not Zach. He had been the one constant in her life - someone whom she could trust to keep their promise. _Kind of the reason why you fell for him..._

"So will you allow me the pleasure to escort you through the exciting world of Haitian life?" he asked coyly. "I promise to show you a good time. He watched as she seemed to think about the offer, weighing her options.

"All right," she declared, taking her hand back into her possession. Tilting her head slightly, Kendall smiled mischievously at her ruggedly handsome husband. "You get one chance, mister. And...if you show me a good enough time, maybe I'll keep you around for another day."

--&--

The day had been a success so far. Kendall was surprised again how much she enjoyed spending time with Zach. When he was around her mother, Jack, or even Ryan and Greenlee, he always began posturing. He was subtle about it, but whenever he got the chance, he would throw in a jab or remark that would throw everyone into a hizzy. Part of her hated it. It made it that much harder for everyone to believe why she trusted him and wanted him around. But then there was the other part...that loved every minute of it.

"Well, I think it has been quite the busy day for you Mrs. Slater," Zach chuckled, handing their driver another handful of bags. "You have successfully filled the car with enough packages that we can no longer fit in it."

"Me?" she exclaimed in disbelief. "_You're_ the one who insisted I try on every dress in the whole south side of the island!"

"I had to do something about the complaining," he said, shrugging. A smirk played upon his lips.

"Complaining?" Kendall shook her head. "I was not complaining," she protested. "I was merely stating the obvious."

"Complaining."

"I am not wearing this one dress that you bought me for the entirety of my stay," she said defensively. "That is just gross. Plus, what kind of image would that give me or you?"

"Well, you've solved that problem," he glanced over his shoulder at the black sedan. "You're planning on moving to the south island?"

"Shut up." Kendall glared at him, fighting the urge to laugh.

"Hey, just wondering if you ever plan on going back to Pine Valley," he teased. "I mean for you go to actually wear every outfit that you've purchased today, you'd be here at least a few months."

Kendall slapped him lightly on the shoulder, feigning irritation, but smiling the entire time. ""Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good day," she asked, resting her hands on her hips. "You were doing so well."

"Sorry, dear. I'll just go back to nodding and doling out the cash." He loved seeing the smile return to her face. He thought it would be a while before he would see it again.

"Hey, half of it's mine, mister," she chided, wagging her index finger at him.

"True enough."

Her lips parted to say something, but she thought better of it. He opened his mouth to say to comment, but decided it was better left unsaid. Suddenly an unexpected silence fell between them.

The day was almost at an end. It was growing dark, and it crossed Zach's mind that they hadn't had anything substantial to eat all day. They had picked up some fruit from the market to eat along the way, but not a real meal. "Um," Zach cleared his throat, "are you hungry?"

Kendall was grateful for the lifting of silence between them. Her hand unconsciously resting on her stomach; she hadn't felt hungry at all, but all of the sudden she realized how famished she was. "Actually yeah," she said. "I don't think we stopped long enough all day for me to think about how hungry I am."

"Great."

"Great?" Her brow furrowed at his response. "What's so great?" she asked suspiciously. "I can see the little gears turning in the misunderstood machine that you call a brain."

"You'll see," he said. Stepping aside, his arm made a sweeping gesture towards the pathway to the car.

"Should I be worried?" she joked.

Zach ignored her question, helping her into the waiting car. Today had been a surprisingly wonderful day. Part of him thought that kendall would be lost in the memory of the miscarriage forever, but she had not mentioned it once that day. And if he could help it, he would do everything to keep that brilliant smile on her beautiful face. "I'm just trying to fulfill a promise."

--&--

Zach, attentive; it was quite unnerving. Kendall did not think that life with Zach could be like this. Of course, secretly she fantasized about it being perfect, but that was a fantasy. The man had his faults. And it reared its ugly head when he finally admitted that he lied about Ryan's death. But if she were being objective about it, she could see how the truth could have destroyed Greenlee. _Oh, it's all so confusing._

"We're here," Zach whispered into her ear.

Kendall peered out the car window to find out what Zach was up to, but it was too dark. She hadn't realized how quickly the sun set here. "What are you up to?" she asked curiously, as her gaze met his. He offered his hand to her, and she accepted, as she stepped out of the black sedan.

He had made a few quick phone calls as Kendall stopped off at one more shop along the way. Everything had been arranged quite quickly. In fact, Zach hadn't had the chance to inspect the work done by his makeshift staff in Haiti. "You'll see," he said slyly, as he stood behind her.

She felt his hand rest upon her waist, as his other hand held hers. The night air was chilly, and she welcomed the warmth of his body against hers. "You haven't arranged for us to walk some fiery pit of coals, or anything like that?"

"No," he chuckled. "I think our marriage was a trial by fire in itself, don't you?"

Without another word, she felt him gently guide her forward, his strong assuring hands leading her where she needed to go. The car had stopped outside what seemed to be a forest glade. _What? Was did she look like a girl guide?_

He had been advised that the location where he had planned this special end to their night was secluded and known to only a few of the locals. But where exactly they were, he wasn't quite too clear. Arranging the details had been left up to an acquaintence.

"Follow me," an unfamiliar voice beckoned.

Kendall hesitated, glancing back towards Zach, who seemed a little unsure himself.

A small figure stepped out from the shadows with a torch in hand. He had dark hair, his frame was slight, and his skin dark like that of a native of the island. "My name is Farid, sent by Jean Benard. I am here to lead you to your destination." He spoke with a thick accent. Stepping aside, he slipped the torch into his left hand and revealed the narrow pathway enshrouded by a mixture of green foliage.

Zach recognized the name of his assistant, and relaxed slightly. "Lead the way."

"What's with all of the mystery?" Kendall smirked. "You could make a girl feel special going through all of this effort." And she wasn't lying. She had never felt this special - important - to merit all of this attention.

"Well," he said, leaning to whisper in her ear. "You are special."

Suddenly she thought her heart skipped a beat. Closing her eyes, she let out a soft sigh. Kendall imagined that this was what it would be like to truly find love - a man who was attentive to her every need, someone who could bring a smile to her lips with just a word.

Their guide for the evening led them down a dark, rough pathway, that seemed untrodden. But as they walked a few feet, the trail widened and brightened. The pathway was now lined with torches, as the looming foliage seemed to disappear from above them, revealing the clear night sky.

Kendall wished she knew what was running through Zach's mind at that moment. What would possess him to go through all of this effort? Part of her hoped it was because what she suspected was true - could he possibly be falling for her? She had never felt safer in one man's arms than she did with him. He made every heartache fall away when he was near. He could make the whole world disappear around her.

"I'll take her the rest of the way," Zach said to Farid. Stepping out from behind Kendall, he turned around to face her. "Do you like surprises?"

Kendall narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Only if you promise that it doesn't involve someone placing a curse on me," she said sarcastically.

"Now why would I do that to you?" he smirked mischievously, glancing over his shoulder to make sure things were ready.

Her curiosity was definitely peaked. She tried to peer over Zach's shoulder, past the trees and ferns around them.

"Ah ah," he chided, taking her hand. "No fair peeking."

"What's the surprise, Zach?" she asked anxiously. "You're being too mysterious."

"It's not a voodoo curse," he replied dryly. "No."

"Then what?"

"Follow me." Zach turned around, with her hand in his, leading her onto the soft, white, cool sands. In the distance, he could see their destination. It was exactly as he had described. _Jean Bernard gets a bonus._

It was nothing that she had imagined. As Zach held her hand gently, Kendall found herself being led out of the darkness and towards a bright light. The closer they came, she could distinguish smaller details within the light. It was like stepping into a movie. Glowing torches surrounded a small area of the beach, and within the sectioned area, a small candle-lit table for two. She could hear soft music playing in the background, as Zach brought her to the table, and in the shadows she suddenly noticed the outline of shadowed figures, with guitars and violins.

It took her breath away.

"Surprise," he said huskily. Zach watched as her pale expression took on a glow. The flames danced in her bright green eyes, as they took in his attempt at subtlety. His heart filled with an inexpressible warmth as a enormous smile appeared upon her face.

"You...when did you have the time to," she stammered, as she was at a loss of words. "How did you do this?"

"I'm a man of many talents," he chuckled, moving closer to her. "Or didn't you already figure that out?"

Kendall shook her head, unable to describe what she felt at this moment. Her throat was choked by the threat of tears. It was so beautiful. Her hand fluttered to her throat, fighting to control her emotions. She turned to speak, but was met with a flower - to be exact, a hibiscus flower. The same flower he had handed her when she had stood upon a very similar looking beach. "Zach..."

"Would you care to dance, Mrs. Slater?" He had grown fond of saying those two words. And as he held his hand out to his wife, he knew it would soon end. He would never refer to her as that again.

She slipped her right hand into his, watching as their fingers entwined within each others, fitting perfectly together, as if they belonged. Kendall allowed herself to be drawn closer, as his right arm slid around her waist, gasping slightly as he pulled her in close to him. Her body was tense, unsure of how to respond to what seemed to be happening between them, as his body swayed to the music.

Kendall kept her eyes down, unable to bring herself to look into his eyes. This moment felt so real. Tentatively, she raised her head, until her gaze met his. The bright flicker of torchlight glimmered in his intense, dark brown eyes. The way he gazed soulfully into her eyes, Kendall felt like she was falling - drowning in them.

The music faded, their surroundings vanished, as he held her in his arms. Everything about her dancing in his arms felt right. It was as if he was complete; she completed him.

He wished he could voice the feelings swirling inside him. But this relationship was not about feelings and love. Zach found himself settling silent declarations, and perfect nights like this.

_Kendall Hart Slater, God help me, I love you._

_----&----_

"Thank you," Kendall said softly, as they headed back to the hotel. "Tonight was...was perfect."

"I'm glad," Zach smiled, glancing down at his hand, still entwined with hers.

"But..." A small voice inside told her to stop right there. _Don't ruin this moment._ But she could not help but wonder...

"But what?"

"But what was tonight, Zach?" Her chest tightened. Did she want to know the answer to the question she was asking? Did she even know what she was asking for? "What was tonight about, Zach?"

How was he supposed to answer that? Zach knew that tonight could bring up a subject that both had danced around. They had both admitted caring for each other, but that was as far as it went. _But I've gone farther than just caring._

_Think about just what you are about to do._ Kendall had skitted around this subject for far too long. She knew that she had made the stupid mistake of falling for a man who wanted nothing to do with love. But the night of the fire, Kendall could have sworn Zach had been in her hospital room. It was that unreal dream that had given her a glimmer of hope that what she had thought she heard was true. Zach was in love with her.

She had not spoken of it to him. Part of her felt foolish for even believing, after Greenlee had told her that it was all a dream - her imagination. But tonight, everything about her dream came flashing back as if a vivid reality. _But you could be wrong. Dead wrong._

"Tonight." He found himself at a loss for words. Did he want to deny it all. Did he want to leave this night as a perfect memory. Or did he want to chance it all? Did he want to tell her how he had fallen in love with her?

"Yes," she said, feeling herself grow faint. "Why did you do all of that?"

"What do you mean?" Now he was playing dense. She deserved better than that.

"Zach, tonight felt like more..." she hedged. "It felt like something someone would do for someone they...loved."

There she had said the word. As horrifying as that word could be - sharper than any knife point - she needed to know. She was tired of the dance.

"So, what you're asking me is..." His voice trailed off. Zach did not know if he could do it. How did he tell a woman who married him to keep herself from falling in love, that he had done the opposite?

_Don't do it. Don't do it._ Kendall had forced them into a corner. There was no way out now.

"Are you in love with me?"


	9. Chapter Eight: Is It Love

**Disclaimer:** I don't own ABC or AMC. If I did, do you think the show would be in the state that it is? Plus, it would be Zendall 24/7!  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** Nope. Not budging. No NC stuff for me. Not even if you beg...really. No. Reaaaaally.  
**A/N 2:** Thanks BIG BUNCHES to Liz for sending those tapes to me! Yay! Still counting down the days...;)  
**A/N 3:** Thanks for all of the helpful, insightful and inspiring feedback.  
**A/N 4:** Gidget, as always, quick observer. You changed the title before I even knew it ;)  
**A/N 5:** Lastly I wanted to say that though it is somewhat original, I think I kind of stole some of the gooder parts from...oh wait, you haven't read it yet...I'll save this for the end! Mwuahahaha...

**Chapter Eight: Is It Love**

_"Are you in love with me?"_

How was he supposed to respond to that question? Honestly? Vaguely?

Of course he was in love with her. It hadn't been obvious in the beginning, but it was blatantly obvious to him now. Part of him wondered how she could not see it.

"Zach?" Kendall felt like she was on a hot-seat, waiting for him to give her an answer. _Why did you have to open your big fat mouth?_

"U-Uh, in love with you..." he hedged, looking her in the eye. "That...that's a good question..."

"We have arrived at the hotel, sir," the driver announced, peering throuugh the rearview mirror.

"Right," Zach said, acknowledging the chauffeur. "Great. Thanks." He turned to Kendall and gestured towards the door. "We should get out here. This is our stop." "Hey, no, no, no." She wagged her finger at him. "You're not getting out of this that easily." She had her chance to escape, forget that she asked the torturous question at all. But there was this nagging knot in her stomach that would not let it go. That, and she was just stubborn.

"We should really get out, Kendall," he said, as the door opened before them. "I mean, this guy can't sit here forever, while we hash things out."

With furrowed brow, Kendall glanced up at the eager look on the younger man's face, dressed neatly, in a clean-cut suit, knowing Zach was right...again. "Fine," she huffed. "But as soon as we get to the suite..."

"Yes, dear," Zach said with a grin. Patting her hand, he exited the car and offered his hand to his wife. As he assisted Kendall, she stumbled slightly, twisting her foot on the curb, causing her to fall forward into his arms.

Kendall swallowed slightly, as her eyes met with his, clinging to him for balance. _Why did the most embarrassing, clumsy things happen to her around him?_

"Are you all right?" he asked worriedly, glancing down at her leg.

_Lovesick puppy dog, that's what I am. Or at least what I must look like._

"No, I'm fine," she said determinedly, as she pulled away from him slightly. When she put weight on her right foot, Kendall felt a sharp pain shoot up her leg. Biting her bottom lip, she grimaced, sucking the air through her teeth, trying not to cry.

"You're not fine," Zach said, frowning. Leaning down, he slid his hand down the calf of her right leg and gently squeezed her ankle. He heard her muffled gasp. He glanced up at her knowingly. "I think you might have sprained your ankle, if not twisted it."

"I'm FINE." She tried to put weight on that foot again, and she nearly cried out in pain. Her ankle was throbbing now.

"You're anything but fine," he growled, pushing himself up to his feet. "And if you try to walk on that, you're only going to make it worse."

Kendall could feel moisture growing from the corners of her eyes as she shifted her weight to her good foot. "I can walk..." And before she could protest any further, Kendall felt herself being swept up off her feet and into his arms. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "What in Sam Hill do you think you're doing?" she exclaimed irritably, glancing down at the ground. "I told you I was fine. And you pick me up without a word..."

"Yes dear," he interrupted, unable to contain his amusement at the expression on Kendall's face. "Now you tell me what a horrible, _horrible_ husband I am, while I carry you back to our room."

Kendall watched as Zach turned his attention towards the hotel, walking almost effortlessly, like she weighed no more than a bird, and to their suite. She still clung to him, though her grip relaxed slightly. When he got like this, it made her want to throttle him, yet kiss him at the same time. The man was a complete paradox - dismissive, yet attentive, obtuse, but observant.

_Boy, do I know how to pick'em._

>>>

Gently, Zach set her down easily on the bed, sliding her arm from around his neck, before sitting on the edge and examining her ankle. He had spoken to the concierge about an icepack and a few extra towels. The ankle had not changed size or color; he took that as a good sign that it was probably a slight sprain.

"Zach, it's nothing," Kendall dismissed, uncomfortable and disconcerted at how gentle his touch could be. He was touching her, granted, only her leg, without thought to ask permission, as if he had a right to do with her, what he willed. "Really."

"It's precautionary," he explained. Reaching over her, he leaned in, their gazes meeting briefly, before he pulled back, taking a pillow with him. "I just want to make sure it's not twisted. You don't want a swollen ankle the size of a grapefruit, do you?"

"Y-You..." She tried to push his hand away, but he just swatted her hand away. Kendall sighed, giving up the fight. He wasn't going to listen to her. She watched intently as he lifted her foot up, propping the pillow underneath, elevating her ankle.

"How does that feel?" he asked without looking up.

"Good...good," she replied distractedly, her gaze still intent upon his face.

"No pain?" He glanced up at her, wanting to gauge her reaction as he touched the ankle with his fingertips, knowing she would probably deny any pain at all.

_He was so gentle at times like these. He never panicked in stressful situations. He was always the picture of control and strength._

"Kendall?" He frowned. She seemed to be off in her own world for a moment. "There's no pain?" he repeated himself.

"Huh?" She was pulled out of her musings. "What?"

"What, are you daydreaming on me now?" he chuckled. "I didn't know I was such a bore."

"Uh, no," she blurted out, shaking her head. "I just kind of got..um, distracted." "So I take it, the pain is minimal then?" Zach rested his hand upon her leg. "Since you didn't seem to notice when I was touching it earlier," he said thoughtfully.

"Uh, no. No pain," she breathed, shaking her head to validate her statement.

"That's good," he nodded, "that's really good."

Her gaze drifted to his hand, which still remained upon the calf of her leg. She could feel the warmth of his hand creeping up her leg..."So!" she exclaimed, trying to keep her focus away from the attraction that always came when they were alone in a room together like this. "What a way to end the night, huh?"

"Yeah," Zach said, rubbing his jawline. Suddenly he became restless sitting there, with her so close. Practically jumping off the bed, Zach slid off the bed, putting a little distance between them. "It was a good night though."

"It was," she agreed, a smile played upon her lips. "Really good."

"But it's getting late," he said, gesturing to her. "And I'm sure you're exhausted."

"Somewhat," Kendall admitted, suddenly realizing how tired her eyes were.

"Well then," he said, his voice trailing off. With his hands in his pocket, he shifted his weight from side to side, unable think of anything else to keep him there. "Uh...good night. Sweet dreams."

"Wait," she exclaimed, her eyes fluttering open. The night had taken a sudden twist, which had gotten them off track about the real question. "You never answered my question." Her heart began to pound against her chest.

"Your question?" Zach tilted his head curiously.

"Yes," she said, eyeing him suspiciously. "You thought I'd forget didn't you?"

"How so?" It took him a moment, but he realized _what_ question she was indeed talking about.

"Probably made this whole thing," gesturing to her propped up ankle, "to avoid the whole subject." Kendall couldn't believe how cunning he was. "Is it so hard to answer a simple question?" she asked slyly.

"So you're saying I made you slip and twist your ankle, to avoid answering this question of yours?" He raised a skeptical brow. "Hm, that's some theory," he said, raising himself up on his toes and then rolling back. "Did I mention, I've noticed a recent penchant for conspiracy theories?"

"You're doing it again!" she exclaimed in frustration, throwing her hands up in the air. "You're delibrately changing the subject, avoiding the question, dancing around the point!"

"It's kind of an out-of-nowhere question though, don't you think?" He knew he was stalling. But what else could he do? Zach had no idea what drove her desire to know the answer?

"How is it out of nowhere?" Kendall frowned, slumping back into the pile of pillows surrounding her.

"Well, we are here for a divorce, and as unconventional a marriage as this is, I thought we deserved a wonderful night out," he explained cautiously, as he paced back and forth. "I mean, what do...feelings have to do with this? When did feelings get involved?"

"So, you're saying that all of this," she waved her hands in the air in gesture to what had occurred that night, "was just a good time?" Suddenly Kendall had a sinking feeling about this.

"In a sense," Zach nodded. "Yes." He wasn't lying. His intentions had been honorable. He had promised her a wonderful day and night; and he wanted to give that to her after all she had been through.

"Then...then," she stammered in frustration, and confusion, verging on tears. "Why?" She looked up at him not understanding what she had felt that night - what he had made her feel.

"Please," Zach said, as he had always been unable to watch a woman cry. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm not crying," Kendall declared, while sniffling and wiping back tears. "I'm not crying." She was not going insane. She was not delusional. What Zach did for her tonight was not just about an unconventional friendship, and breaking all of the rules of a conventional marriage. "The special beach serenade, the candles and torches and romantic dinner - I did not imagine those things, did I!"

"I..." Zach did not know how that night would make her feel. He did it out of an innocent desire to keep that smile that had been on her lips all day, but now he saw that it had been a mistake.

"You want to prove that I can be manipulated? Is that it?" The thought had crossed her mind. Kendall had wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but maybe Zach had changed his M.O.. Perhaps, he wasn't the honorable guy that she thought he was, and that everyone kept pointing out to her. "You want to hurt me, Zach? Is that it?" she accused angrily. "Because I have to tell you, if you are, you're doing one heck of a bang-up job!"

"That isn't what I intended," he answered calmly, watching her unravel before her eyes. A fault he thought only Lavery could have been accused of. "I would never hurt you..."

"Oh really?" Kendall said disdainfully. "Then what possible reason could you have gone through all of that trouble for?" She shimmied awkwardly forward, trying to keep her leg elevated so she could be closer to Zach. "Because I'm such a great wife? That must be it. It was my reward for being the kind of wife who doesn't nag, doesn't bother living with her husband..."

"Kendall..." He saw the sadness and hurt morph into anger - a defense mechanism.

"Or is this payback now, for not listening to you about carrying Greenlee and Ryan's child?" she spat.

"Kendall," he said, his tone more forceful. She ignored him.

"Or maybe you thought God already beat you to the punch on that one?" She knew she was beginning to sound irrational, but it had crossed her mind that punishment from God had been due her for all the crap she had pulled. Maybe her one good deed just didn't count enough?

"Kendall!" he exclaimed loudly. "No, I didn't do it for those reasons." She stared at him, as if weighing his every word. "Do you really think I'm that kind of a man?"

"You know, right now," she scoffed, letting her hands fall down to her side. "I really have no idea what I think about you."

"Well _know_ that I don't judge you for those things," Zach said firmly. "In fact, I admire you for the amazing heart and strength it took for you to give Greenlee such an amazing gift."

Kendall heard the words, but she could not bring herself to believe them. How could anyone? The only person who understood her gift was Greenlee. Her closest friend understood that she wanted to finally make one unselfish gesture because of their love for one another. "Why do you do that?" she asked, unable to comprehend how he could shower her with these words when he didn't even love her.

"Do what?" Zach wanted to end the pain, the second guessing on her part over his motives. He knew the truth could do that. But was he ready to tell her? Could he tell her the truth, accepting the probability that she did not want what he offered to her?

"Stop complimenting me," she cried wearily. "Saying things that someone who actually gives a damn, would say."

"But I do give a damn about you," he said softly.

"No, you don't," Kendall protested, shaking her head. She was tired. It was late and she did not have the energy to care anymore. "I don't know why you're doing all of this, but you know what? Stop."

Zach did not know how to reply to that.

"Stop pretending you care more than you do." She was insane to believe that there was the possibility of love in the midst of distrust and self-preservation. How she could love the man and in the same breath believe he would do such things to hurt her was illogical. _But do you believe he said, did those things because of the reasons you accused him of?_

"Okay, enough," he declared forcefully. Running his hands through his hair, his mind swirled with words and declarations of love, and scenarios of how this would play out. "You say you want an explanation - a reason why I do the things I do, say the things I say - well, I'm going to give you one."

Kendall swallowed hard, almost scared of what this next round of words would bring.

"When I, we, came into this marriage, we entered into it wide-eyed, didn't we?" He didn't wait for a response. "I really gave no thought you at all. You were a means to an end, and vice versa. But..." Suddenly the words got caught in his throat. Flashes of the pain and the suffering she had gone through and the grace and courage in which she faced it with, brought a tear to his eyes. "You were more," he breathed. "There was so much more to you than I ever imagined."

She was caught off guard. The words he spoke cut straight to her heart, as if piercing the titanium armor she had so meticulously dressed herself with. _He's not saying these things to me...he's not._

"I watched as you endured Ryan's scorn and disdain. I couldn't imagine anyone surviving that, but you picked up the pieces and came back fighting even harder." Zach gazed lovingly at her. "You are stubborn and hard-headed; you are intelligent and beautiful," he said, drawing nearer to her. "You have the most generous heart, and love unreservedly. Y-You put a hundred percent into everything that you do, and that includes love. You would sacrifice anything for someone you loved, and that leaves me speechless."

Kendall felt herself begin to shake. The declaration seemed to be building somewhere, and suddenly she realized how terrified of it she was. He was standing there, speaking words she had only ever dreamed of hearing from any man, let alone Zach. "W-Wha...just what are you saying?" Her eyes were nearly brimming with warm, wet tears.

"What I'm trying to say, Kendall," Zach said hoarsely, reaching out and brushing stray locks of hair out of her eyes. "Is that I'm in love with you. I've fallen in love with you."

-----  
**A/N 5:** ...as I was saying, from Zach's declaration of love. I mean it was SO good, who wouldn't want to plagarize...LOL. Hopefully it's not exactly the same...Eep. Don't report me to MMT!


	10. Chapter Nine: Reality Sets In

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. If you did, you'd totally notice. Because the show wouldn't suck as much. And Babe and Krystal would have been abducted by aliens a long time ago.  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** Thanks for everyone who reviewed. It really is appreciated. I enjoy writing this for you.  
**A/N 2:** Thanks BIG BUNCHES to Liz for sending those tapes to me AGAIN! Here is your bribe in full effect.

**Chapter Nine: Reality Sets In**

"Love?" She knew she heard him right. The fact that her mind was swirling and spinning like there was no tomorrow was testimony that she had heard Zach Slater profess his love to her. "You," she paused, tearing her gaze from his, "love me." She needed to let this sink in. It seemed like some trick. A hoax of some sort. _Was there a candid camera somewhere?_

The declaration wasn't succinct or at all fluid. It wasn't the makings of Shakespeare. In fact, he was grateful he managed to get the words out at all. Kendall had this way of frustrating him; she always jumped to the wrong conclusions. She never seemed able to trust that the words were spoken in truth, instead of some big attempt at manipulating her for their advantage. "Yes," he said, holding his breath for some sort of reaction. "I love you, Kendall Hart Slater."

The words brought a slight smile to her lips. _Love. This from a man who claimed he had no heart._ Lifting her eyes to meet his, Kendall tilted her head, gazing suspiciously at the man before her. "Where did this sudden 'love' for me come from?" she asked, trying with all of her might not to freak out at him for what he was saying. "I mean, just out of curiosity's sake?"

_And she begins to build her walls up again._ "This isn't a game," he said sincerely. "I truly meant what I said. I love you."

"Zach, be honest," she sighed. "We went into this marriage because we didn't want love. We both knew that love just wasn't our 'thing'."

"Well apparently love doesn't quite work that way," he quipped.

"And that's another point. _We_ don't know what love _is_. As attested to by our previous relationships." Kendall frowned pulling away from his burning touch. "It's this fantasy the world has built up about love. Like it's some fantastic craze we all need to jump onto. It's not real."

"It's real." He knew it was real. The inability to think while she was around, his constant need to be near her - to know what she was doing; love was as palpable as the hand in front of his eyes. "We know love makes the world go round," he said gruffly. "I saw you in love so many times, whether you were holding Miranda in your arms, or comforting Bianca or Greenlee. Oh hell, Jack and Erica are proof enough that love exists, though you never heard me say that." She didn't laugh. Turning serious again, he spoke, "You know that love is real."

"That is completely different," she protested. Part of her didn't even really understand what was happening. All of these feelings she had for Zach became mixed with her fears and doubts about ever trusting another man again. "She...she's, they're both my sisters. And Jack and Erica, yeah, that's one for the books."

"It's still love," Zach pointed out. "And you felt it. You know what it is. It's that sick feeling in your stomach when that person you care about is in any kind of pain or danger. It's that desire to fix everything wrong in their lives, unable to stand the thought of them being anything less than happy."

Kendall shook her head, sliding to the other side of the bed in an attempt to get away. But she couldn't.

"It's the way I feel about you," he said awkwardly, clearing his throat. Her back was to him, and he did not know if anything he was saying was getting through to her. "I know that part of you because you let me see you. No walls, no masks - you just let me be there for you."

"Well that was a mistake," she spat, as her eyes welled up with tears. "Because that was under false pretenses. You promised me that this wouldn't be about love. You promised me that it wouldn't be about the pain."

He knew she was fighting this. Maybe this was the biggest mistake of his life. But he had to tell her. He could no longer hold his secret close. It was too heavy a load. "I don't want this to be about pain," Zach sighed, walking around the bed, to kneel in front of her. "Love doesn't have to be about pain, Kendall."

"Then what is it supposed to be about?" she said distractedly. "Because everyone I have loved and trusted betrayed me. They threw our love out the door without a second glance. And I'm supposed to trust you?"

Her torn laughter filled the room. "I know trust is a very hard thing," he said softly. "It doesn't come easily to you or me. We've been burned too often. We keep making mistakes and that's what got us here in the first place."

"See," she said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "You understand. You understand why this makes no sense...no sense at all!"

_I should have seen this coming._ Zach closed his eyes, hating the fact that he was responsible for those tears. _I should have kept my mouth shut._ His love could only burn.

Maybe he would stop this now. He would stop using that word as if it was cash in hand. Zach threw it around like it was money in the bank. "Take it back," she exclaimed desperately. "Take it back and we can pretend this never happened."

Zach was taken aback. He never expected that. "Take it back," he said stiffly. Reality had set in.

Kendall didn't know why it surprised her; but hearing that unexpected pain in his voice cut to her heart. She had hurt him. His eyes, which had been wide-eyed and open, grew dark and cloudy; his brow furrowed together, as if wrestling with his thoughts. "Zach," she breathed, regretting her words. Why did she always make the worst decisions? Why did she always manage to screw things up?

"Ah," Zach coughed, pushing himself up to his feet. He smiled a fake plastic smile, before nodding. "Well, then...I guess there really isn't much else to say."

"Zach, don't take it in the wrong..."

"No," he grimaced, hoping it would pass for acceptance. "Y-You've made your choice. I understand."

_Understand._ The word tasted like dust in his mouth. He did not want to understand. Actually more the opposite of that, Zach wanted to scream; he wanted to throw something. He had been wrong - so wrong. She didn't want him. Kendall was so far from loving him, the Hubble telescope wouldn't be able to chart it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, knowing her fear had gotten in the way. "I didn't mean it like..."

"So tomorrow," he said, cutting her off. Her voice now sounded like sandpaper on glass. He didn't want to hear her apologies for not feeling the same way. There wasn't a need to explain. It was something he would just have to accept. He smiled at her, not wanting her to feel obligated to him after his unwanted declaration. "The festival officially comes to an end."

_'He is just doing as you asked. He's pretending this never happened,' a voice said pointedly._

"Oh?"

"Yes," he said gruffly. He forced the pain and disappointment from his face, placing the rampant emotions he let reign back into the neat and tidy box, locking it away where it should have stayed.

"Did you have something planned?" She stared at him anxiously. He was so calm. It unnerved her.

"Well, if you're up to it," he replied. "I mean, I know the doctor said..."

"No," she smiled hopefully, wanting deep down to know that she hadn't done to him what she was protecting herself from. "I feel fine."

"Then I offer you something to relieve your stress," Zach said, swallowing hard. He never wanted to add to her stress or confusion. It was the last thing he wanted. Now that Kendall had revealed so clearly what her feelings were, he knew what he had to do.

"W-What is it?" she asked curiously. For some reason a lump had developed in her throat and her stomach was doing flipflops, as Zach stood casually in front of her, hands in his pockets.

"Some would say a gift of sorts," he explained slowly.

"What?" Kendall exclaimed, chuckling uneasily. "What is it that you're going to give me?"

"Your divorce."


	11. Chapter Ten: Dismissed

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. If you did, you'd totally notice. Because the show wouldn't suck as much. And Babe and Krystal would have been abducted by aliens a long time ago.  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** If you want an explanation for this chapter...well, don't look at me. It just was there. I have no clue what I am doing. Hey, I never said I did! Just check my bio!  
**A/N 2:** Angst. Up and down. Isn't that what you wanted Liz? Anyways girls, I can't say this is a squeal fest, but I tried something. Let's just call it an experiment. Hey, you have to have some exposition.

**Chapter Ten: Dismissed**

If he wanted to play it that way, fine. It was fine with her. Kendall hopped around on one foot, as her ankle was still quite tender from slightly spraining on their little 'day out'. _I don't need him. It's what I wanted all along. It was what this whole trip was about._

It had taken another day to arrange a court date for their divorce. In the meantime, Zach had successfully managed to avoid her for the whole day. "Well, he can take a flying..."

"Talking to yourself again?"

Kendall spun around to see Zach leaning comfortably against the entrance to the bedroom. He was wearing a light blue button-up with a casual grey suit jacket and a pair of grey slacks. He managed to make casual look so inviting, even though he stood there with an irritating intent. "I didn't know if you were going to show up," she scoffed, throwing cream shawl over top of her off-the-shoulder wine-colored summer dress. "Not that I couldn't have handled this myself."

"We got into this marriage together, and we'll leave it together," he said casually, walking over to the bed, a few feet away from her. "So you're ready?"

_No. No, I'm not._ "Yes," she said firmly. "As ready as I've ever been."

Zach was so self-assured. It seemed as if this whole procedure didn't even phase him. And this was coming from the same man who had professed his undaying love for her only a day before. _I'm doing the right thing._ As much as she tried to reassure herself, Kendall could feel the weakness seeping through - doubts, regrets.

"Great," he chirped.

"You don't have to act like this is the greatest thing since sliced bread," Kendall growled irritably, spinning around on one foot, trying to keep her balance. "This is a divorce for pete's sake."

"Is something wrong?" He came up along side her and steadied her by grabbing her arm. "Because you sound a little upset?" Zach said curiously.

"I'm fine," she snapped, pulling away from him. Unfortunately in doing so, she lost her balance and as she put her bum foot down, the pain became to much, and she winced at the sharp stabbing pain.

"Would you let me help you?" he said. She could hear a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"I can manage," she said, gritting her teeth, as she waited for the pain began to subside.

"Would you stop being stubborn?" Zach grasped her shoulders and his eyes met hers. "And let me just help you, since you refuse the aid of crutches?" He paused a moment, his eyes darting across her face. "It's not a vice, to need someone," he said softly.

As Kendall stared into those dark brooding eyes, she saw a flicker of something. She couldn't put her finger on it. It seemed like regret mixed with longing. _You're just imagining things._ Her heart sped up at the nearness of him. Why did he have to have that effect on her? "Fine," she breathed, her gaze trailing down to his lips. He had only ever kissed her once, but she had been left breathless. There was a knock at the door, and she was drawn from her reverie. Meeting his gaze, she stiffened and took a half a hop back. "Fine."

One arm snaked around her waist, holding her tightly, while the other held her other hand. She felt his strength, and part of her longed to have them hold her always. _No, stop it._ Kendall could not go back there. They had settled this. The man had abandoned 'his love' at the drop of a hat. He hadn't fought for her. He hadn't done anything.

_Of course this divorce is the right thing._

_--&--_

"Mr. Beckham, thank you for coming."

Kendall had no idea who the stranger standing in their honeymoon suite was. He was tall and lanky, dark brown eyes and dirty blonde hair. Dressed in a well-pressed suit, he looked the part of a professional. "Who is this?" Kendall frowned.

"Mr. Beckham is our lawyer, dear," Zach informed.

"Well, it seems you had a little accident during your stay here in Haiti?" he observed casually, glancing over at Zach. "Good thing this is an amicable divorce." He chuckled to himself.

Kendall didn't bother cracking a smile. "Let me assure you it was less than funny." Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Zach glance over her way, a look of bewilderment at her attitude. She ignored him. "Well, is there anything I need to know beforehand?" she asked in a business-like tone. "Or do we need to sign and get the judge to throw us some confetti?"

"I can see this is a good time for the proceedings," Mr. Beckham remarked, his eyes giving her the once over.

"Enough with the color commentary," Kendall snapped, not in the mood to hear how she was probably the reason for the whole proceedings - though technically she was.

"Well, it should be easy enough," Mr. Beckham coughed uneasily. "I just need you to sign these papers and show up at the courthouse."

"Then what?" Kendall wanted to know exactly what would be happening. Did she have to testify? Would she have to say nasty things about Zach? _That would be easy enough at this point._

"It should be cut and dry," he explained. "The judge will review the reasons for the dissolvement, and nothing against either of you, I think the judge won't have a problem understanding why these proceedings are occurring."

_Nothing against you..._ Kendall glanced over at Zach, who seemed to be listening intently to the lawyer, and shot daggers at him. _He sure knew how to pick them._ She sighed and nodded, waving a dismissive hand at the irritatingly biased lawyer. "Fine," she replied. "Then let's get this over with."

"Can you give us a minute?" Zach said to the lawyer.

She felt Zach's hand rest on her shoulder. Stiffening, Kendall forced herself to meet his gaze, which was searching and questioning hers. "What?" She bit her tongue, as the word came out harsher than she expected. It wasn't until the lawyer arrived in their room, did the words of his declaration suddenly begin playing over and over in her head.

_"You are stubborn and hard-headed; you are intelligent and beautiful. You have the most generous heart, and love unreservedly. Y-You put a hundred percent into everything that you do, and that includes love. You would sacrifice anything for someone you loved, and that leaves me speechless...What I'm trying to say, Kendall, is that I'm in love with you. I've fallen in love with you."_

"Do you want to go through with this?" he asked seriously.

Kendall couldn't believe the words coming from his mouth. _Now he asks?_ "What do you mean?" she said, bristling at the question.

"You just don't seem to be in the right frame of mind..."

"There's a right frame of mind going into this thing?" she exclaimed with a scornful laugh. He seemed to take her anger and frustation in stride. _As always. Always calm. Always in control._ "I believe Mr. Beckham, barrister and solicitor, seemed to think it was exactly the place we need to be."

"Kendall," he hedged, seeming to search for the right words.

"Zach," she sighed. "If you're looking for me to be joyful and happy about this all, don't worry. Once we sign those papers and we're on our merry way..."

"Right," Zach replied, nodding if finally understanding the situation. He took a deep breath and smiled at her, holding out his hand. "Then, shall we go?"

"Let's," Kendall said, plastering a smile on her lips.

_This was how it was supposed to be. He didn't love her. It was obvious. And she would let the judge know that._

--&--

"Irreconcilable differences?" murmured the judge. Glancing up at the two parties, "Well that's a new one." His tone was droll and by his expression, this was probably the one hundredth proceeding he had resided over.

"Judge Latsfvah," Mr. Beckham coughed. "It's really quite simple."

"I'll be the judge of that," he frowned, his bushy grey eyebrows melding together. The pair of almost black eyes darted between Kendall and himself.

Zach watched Kendall from under his lashes. She sat across from him, her brow furrowed as if something were on her mind. In fact she hadn't spoken since they left the hotel. It worried him. She seemed to be taking this a lot harder than he expected. Even though she had asked for it and seemed to rejoice that it was going to finally be over, Zach couldn't help but think maybe he had done this too soon. She was still emotionally vulnerable after losing the baby after all. _Of course, I had to jump the gun on this. And now, she seems to be suffering more now than ever._

"Now why don't you explain to me why a couple of Americans are knocking on my door?" His thick accent rumbled in his throat. "Is your judicial system failing, that it can't handle a symple divorce?" he scowled. "Or do you feel the need to throw our humble nation a bone?"

Zach had never met a judge quite like this one; and by the expression on Kendall's face, she was thinking the exact same thing.

"Can we just sign these papers and get it over with?" Kendall grimaced.

"In a hurry, Mrs. Slater?" Judge Latsfvah said, eyeing her carefully. "Because we can postpone these matters. Since I still believe this is my courtroom, less formal as it may seem."

Kendall remained silent.

"So...," the judge flipped through the file, "tell me exactly is the cause of these 'irreconcilable differences'."

"Judge Latsfvah, the case is clear cut. An amicable split between the two parties - fifty-fifty in matters of settlement," Mr. Beckham jumped in. "They, as many of the couples that pass through your courtroom daily, rushed into this marriage headlong with out any real thought."

"Ah," Judge Latsfvah held up his right hand in front of their lawyer, and his gaze fell upon Zach. "Why don't you explain, Mr. Slater."

Zach shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He hadn't expected to explain in detail the downfall of their marriage. Of course he could not go indepth with the truth about how it had all been a business deal. He sensed that would definitely not go over well with this judge. "Ah, well," he coughed, glancing up at Kendall, who seemed to be waiting expectantly for the weaving of this tale. He heard the clatter of keys halt, as he paused a moment to think of what to say. Zach had forgotten there was a stenographer in the room - the fact that suddenly struck him as odd. "Our marriage wasn't quite the stuff made of fairytales. Kendall and I got married fairly quickly during her mother's recent marriage."

"Yes," the judge said, leaning back in his swivel chair. "Go on."

"I guess you could say it was just a spur of the moment thing, really," he explained, watching Kendall's interest in his little tale grow. "And we both out of hard relationships rebounded into this marriage."

"So, you agree with this recounting, Mrs. Slater?"

"Uh, yes," she said uncomfortably, her eyes never leaving his.

"Well, I certainly can see why it seemed doomed from the start," the judge sighed. "Typical Hollywood romance gone bad. Will you people never learn? Love does not come in the form of a script. It is hard work. It takes commitment." He shook his head and gestured to Kendall. "Continue on. Explain the circumstances which led to the dissolvment of this marriage."

"I-It's simple, your Honor," Kendall stammered, sliding her hands down the front of her dress, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles. "Uh..."

Zach tilted his head slightly, as Kendall seemed to lose focus all of the sudden. It was as if she was lost in thought. He had set up an easy tale of wreckless American lust gone wrong. All she had to do was explain how this really hadn't been a marriage based on love, trust and friendship.

"Mrs. Slater?"

"She gets a little bit of stage-fright," Zach interrupted, trying to take the pressure off of Kendall, as all eyes were on her. "But I can tell you that we both readily admit that this was a mistake on our part..."

"Hey," Kendall interrupted, sitting up in her chair, as if suddenly awakening from a long sleep. "Don't speak for me. I can speak for myself."

"I wasn't trying to..."

"I know what you were trying to do," she spat, shaking her head. "What you always do. You try to micro-manage the problem. Or completely ignore the fact that it exists."

Zach was lost. He had no idea what was going on. Suddenly Kendall was coming off like a woman scorned. Sometimes he wished he knew what was going on in that beautiful head of hers.

"Listen, this man is a liar. A liar," she said, hitting the table for emphasis. "Nothing out of his mouth is the truth. He is like a silver-tongued devil. Yeah, that's it. He tells you one thing, and then turns around and does everything to the contrary."

Judge Latsfvah leaned forward, his brows raising at this interesting turn of events.

"You see," she breathed deeply, her hands gesturing wildly. "This is the reason why I can't trust him. And what kind of marriage is based on nothing but lies? Of course I can't trust a man like Zach Slater. I mean look at him! He's gorgeous, and he knows it. He uses it to get his way.

"And he's charming. Oh, I don't forget charming. The way he looks at you could make any girls swoon." She pointed at Zach, who seemed to grow more intrigued by the word. "Don't take that as a compliment because it's not."

"Judge Lats...," Mr. Beckham tried to intercede, his eyes darting frantically around the room, trying to figure out what was happening to his case.

"Shh," the judged hissed, waving his gavel at the suave lawyer. "Now Mr. Slater, do you have any response to these accusations?"

"Um..." Zach eyed the judge who seemed to be taking giddy delight at what was happening in his courtroom.

"Were you this dishonest cad, this woman is describing? If so, I can see why she would want to get as far away from you as..."

"Wait," Zach frowned, placing his hands on the boardroom-like table. All of the sudden this had become anything but amicable. In fact, everyone was siding with Kendall. "This is just...just absurd."

"Now I'm absurd?" Kendall exclaimed, flopping back into her chair, her arms folded across her chest. "You really know how to charm a girl. See why I need a key to this...thing!"

"Mr. Slater," Mr. Beckham said through clenched teeth and a smile. "You need to get a hold of..."

"Kendall, this isn't the time," he said out of the corner of his mouth. His eyes locked with hers. Zach had no idea why she was acting out like this. She turned away from him.

"Was there some indiscretions on his part?"

"There were no other women," Zach replied bluntly, growing slightly annoyed at the judges' line of questioning.

"Of course not," Kendall muttered, almost inaudibly. "That would have been something I could have dealt with."

"Kendall, may I have a word with you, in private?" Zach asked, trying to restrain the frustration growing inside. "Please, maybe we have a recess..."

"If he hadn't said those words, everything would have been fine..."

"Words?" the judge frowned.

"He just lied to my face..." she continued on. Kendall was lost in her own world.

"Mrs. Slater," Mr. Beckham whispered, almost pleading.

"What does he know about love?" Kendall suddenly exploded, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Mrs. Slater!" Judge Latsfvah tone and demeanor suddenly changed. He seemed to have regained some modicum of decorum and was not pleased at her behavior.

"How can people go around telling them they love them out of the blue when it all was a sham anyways," she said, again muttering to herself.

"Mrs. Slater," the judge repeated himself again, trying to regain some order. "Please refrain from..."

"I should have known better to think..."

Zach watched as Kendall began to unravel in front of the judges. She was hurting; he could see that. But what it was that had brought this whole thing on, was beyond his comprehension right now.

"Declaring your love the night before..." Her words were jumbled together.

"Wh-What?" The judge shook his head in confusion. The expression on his face unexpectedly changed from confusion to irritation. "What did you say, Mrs. Slater?"

"I should have known better to, dot dot dot," a woman's voice spoke, "Declaring your love the night before...my best guess would be, 'our divorce'?" All eyes turned to the stenographer, who pushed up her fashionable chocolate brown-rimmed glasses, and smiled sheepishly. "Uh, did you not want me to read that back to you?"

"Enough!" Judge Latsfvah bellowed, slamming his gavel down on the wooden pad. "I've had enough of this! This isn't a hearing, it's a circus! And it stops now."

"Your Honor," Mr. Beckham cooed, "my clients are in a highly emotional..." Before he could finish, he was silenced by one look from the judge.

"This is the worst display I've witnessed by a grown woman and grown man, in the last five years!" he exclaimed. He motioned for the stenographer to bring her tape to him. "Reading this," he lifted the white paper in his hand, "is like read a television show."

"We are sorry," Zach glanced up at Kendall, who seemed to be stewing in her own indignation. "Your Honor. We did not mean to make this a..."

"I've heard enough," Judge Latsfvah said with a bang of his gavel. "This session is dismissed."

"W-What?" Zach hadn't been expecting this. This declaration also seemed to bring Kendall out of her daze. Her gaze met his and they looked at each other in bewilderment.

"But you can't do this," Kendall exclaimed, jumping up and leaning towards the judge. "We're here to..."

"From the sounds of it," the judge replied, staring her down back into her seat. "It doesn't know _what_ you want, young lady."

"But your Honor," Zach hedged, not understanding how he could just dismiss them like this. "We..."

"Not another word," he warned, pointing his gavel at Zach. "Or I will hold you in contempt of court."

"Mr. Slater," Mr. Beckham pleaded, grabbing hold of his arm. "Please sit down."

"This is not some stage you can bring your theatrics to," Judge Latsfvah lectured. "And if I see you in my courtroom again, I will throw the both of you in jail." With that, he snapped his wrist, causing the gavel to bang loudly against the table. "You are dismissed." Sweeping his robe from under his feet, the judge exited the room.

Zach sat there a moment, stunned. Never had he seen something get so out of control. It was something he could have never predicted.

"Well, who put the rotten egg in his robe?" Kendall scoffed, pushing her chair back and wiping away an invisible piece of lint from her skirt.

"What the hell was that?" Mr. Beckham cried out, slamming his briefcase on the table.

"Hey," Zach growled, stepping around to Kendall's side of the table. "There's no need to yell."

"Are you kidding me?"

"What is your problem?" Kendall exclaimed irritably.

"Why don't you answer that?" Mr. Beckham replied, as his eyes darted between them. "And then when you figure it out," he snapped the clasps on his briefcase closed, "_don't_ call me."

Zach watched as the highly recommended lawyer stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He hadn't particularly liked the overachieving brownnoser, so it wasn't a big loss. But out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a crooked smile play upon his wife's lips.

"I guess we need to get a new lawyer," Kendall quipped. He tilted his head, furrowing his brow at her behavior. "What?"

"Care to tell me what that was about?"


	12. Chapter Eleven: Believe

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. If you did, you'd totally notice. Because the show wouldn't suck as much. And Babe and Krystal would have been abducted by aliens a long time ago.  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** Hilarious? Huh? I actually wasn't going for funny, but hey, I'll take what I can get! LOL.  
**A/N 2:** I want to tell everyone how much I appreciated all the feedback. I was reading at work and I came off the computer, my face was beaming, I'm sure. Your kind words mean so much. Really. sighs happily

**Chapter Eleven: Believe**

"Stop," Kendall grumbled, throwing her purse onto the couch as they arrived at their hotel room. "I had no ulterior motive, so stop with the interrogation." This was what she had been listening to since they left the courthouse. _'Why were you acting like that?', 'I've never seen you behave that irrationally...well, maybe...'_ It was enough! Why did she have to answer to him?

He could not get a straight answer from her. When he moved left, she dodged right. And Zach was getting slightly tired of it. "You threw the divorce," he said matter-of-factly. It was obvious. But what wasn't obvious was why?

"'Threw' the divorce?" she exclaimed incredulously. "Like it's some kind of macho sports thrill game that you would watch on T.V., and I'm the idiot jock?" Now _that_ was absurd.

"Kendall, you started throwing a tantrum in the middle of the hearing!" Zach pointed out, still not sure how to make head or tails of it all. "And got us thrown out of the room?"

"If you want to be technical," she said dryly, walking into the bedroom. "It was the judge who walked out on us."

"Not the point."

"Well, then what is?" she sighed exasperatingly. "We can get another lawyer. We can find another judge." She breezed past him. "I'm not sure I really liked that beady-eyed judge anyways. Like what kind of hearing was that?" She opened the door to the veranda and slowly, thoughtfully took a deep breath of the ocean air.

"I'm confused," he said, coming up behind her. "That's all. One minute you're screaming for a div..."

"Hey," Kendall spun around and locked gazes with her husband, "I _never_ screamed."

She said it like it was supposed to mean something. Zach searched those gorgeous eyes, that could say a thousand words with a glance, for a glimpse of an explanation, a reason for the way she was acting.

"I never once screamed for a divorce," she continued on, pointing a finger at him. "All I did was hand you the divorce papers and tell you that I wanted out."

"Semantics." He was growing tired of this. He had poured out his heart to this woman. It wasn't a bruised ego that had him growing ever more tired of Kendall's head games. He loved this woman more than he could have ever thought possible - spastic melodrama included - but to be run around in circles like this...It hurt.

"You can't pin this on me," she spat angrily. Things had been tense, but they hadn't spoken about the divorce since the miscarriage. In fact she had gone out of her way to avoid it. _Hell, I told him I wanted to postpone it!_ "You're just projecting your own feelings on me."

"Projecting?" He raised his brow in surprise, pointing at himself, before glancing around to make sure she was actually speaking to him. "I'm projecting?"

"Yes," she pouted. "Plus the fact that you see that I can't be fooled or manipulated, like you thought."

Zach closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying not to get sucked into the Kendall 'whirlpool of fantasy'. He had seen her logic up against the likes of Ryan, Greenlee, and Erica; but to see it up close and personal. It took one's breath away. "How," he let out a deep breath, preparing for the worst, "is it that I thought I could manipulate you? And why?" He rested his head against the palm of his hand, tilting his head slightly.

"You _know_," Kendall scoffed, turning her back on him. _Right, play dumb._ She hated that. She hated that he was making her feel like she was being irrational. "You know what you did."

"What did I do, Kendall?" he asked irritably. "Tell me _exactly_ what it was that has got you so angry at me? How have I manipulated you?"

"You _know_ what you did!" Kendall spun around and stared at him in disbelief. "You always know what you're doing," she accused. "Everything is a calculated move. You weigh the risks and then you pounce."

"So what are we talking about?" He shook his head in confusion. "Are we talking about that thing we're supposed to forget about?" He stepped closer to her. He could feel the adrenaline rushing through is veins. "Is that what we're talking about now?" Zach demanded, shoving his hands in his pockets. There was nothing more he would have liked to do but discuss what had happened that night. "_Is it_?"

Kendall jumped at the sharpness in his voice. She could see the intensity flash in his dark eyes. Never had she seen him like this; it was as if he were offended. And Zach Slater was never offended because he was always two steps ahead of the crowd. She had never seen him unable to foresee someone's attack - exactly what they would accuse him of - and unable to comeback with a witty or stinging reply. "U-Uhh," she stammered, taking a step back. Kendall was suddenly unsure of the answer to that question. His declaration of love had been exactly what she had been ranting about, but his sudden change made her re-think her desire to open this Pandora's box.

_'What? Are you backing down because of Zach?' a little voice scoffed in disbelief. 'Since when did any man make you back down?'_

_No. I'm not._ Kendall set her shoulders and met his penetrating gaze. It was like he was challenging her. _And I never back down when challenged._ "Yes," she hissed, prepared to stand her ground. "That's exactly what I'm talking about."

It was like she didn't even see how much he loved her. She would refuse to believe it, even if it killed her - and him as well. _Or maybe that was just a perk?_

"Tell me again how you _love_ me, Zach," she offered sarcastically, taking a step closer, until they were a foot apart. "Tell me how _much_ you care, and see if even _you_ can swallow the B.S. that comes from your own mouth this time."

"That wasn't B.S.," Zach hissed, running his fingers through is hair in frustration. "I love you. Can you even comprehend...?"

Kendall threw her head back and laughed. "You really know how to pour it on thick," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "It's like you've trained yourself to believe your own lies. You really..." Her voice cracked, revealing the unwanted emotion bubbling to the surface. "Y-You really...don't know when to stop do you?"

She could not believe he could stand in front of her, knowing what she knew, and still lie to her face. The man had no scruples. She felt her throat tighten, as tears began to well up in her eyes. Did he understand how much she had already endured? Didn't he understand she couldn't do this again? _Oh God, please, make him stop._ Her chest began to hurt, and her breathing became shallow.

"It's not a lie," he cried, reaching out to her. But she back away, shrinking from his touch. There was so much pain in her eyes, and he hated it. He hated that he was the cause, not the solution. "This," he gestured at the space in between them, "is not a lie! What I feel for you..."

"Can you just stop lying to me?" Her head was spinning. Kendall couldn't hear anymore. Nothing was making sense anymore. She didn't understand why he kept saying these things to her. What was he getting out of this? _Does he enjoy tormenting me?_ Taunting her. Teasing her like she was a cat and he held a new toy?

"Why can't you hear me," Zach breathed raspily. "When I tell you that this is not some play in a bid to gain some higher ground? Kendall, this isn't a game."

Turning her back on him, Kendall tried to regain some composure, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. Every word tore at her heart. _Like I don't want this to be true?_ He acted like this was all her. _Like I don't want to be able to trust that what you're saying isn't masking some other hidden agenda?_ "You want to hurt me," she whispered, nearly choking on her tears. "Is that it?" She had asked him to stop. Begged him to stop declaring his undying love when all of it was a sham.

"Kendall," he spoke gently, his anger suddenly dissipating, as he placed her hands on her shoulders, "No."

"Yes." She turned around, forcing herself to look into his eyes, no matter how much she wanted to run. "Yes," Kendall replied wearily. "Hurt and broken. That's what I am." Worn pathways made by salted tears glowed against her alabaster skin.

"Wh-Why won't you belie..." His voice broke before he could finish. He looked away, feeling a mist creeping upon him, blurring his vision. "Why won't you believe me?" he asked hoarsely, turning his gaze back upon the trembling woman before him. Part of him didn't know if that question was meant for her or for him. "Maybe it is me. Maybe it is my fault that I got in so deep that I can't find my way out. I allowed it to happen - that is what keeps running through my head - how much easier it would be, not to love you. If I could just walk away..."

Kendall lowered her eyes, her lashes hiding the fear and doubt in her eyes, as she listened to him breakdown in front of her. She hadn't expected this. Calm, confident, assured and charming, she understood. But suddenly it felt like she was intruding. It was as if he stood naked in front of her, baring his soul. And she could find no words to speak...

"I know I can't make you love me, Kendall," he said raspily, pulling her closer by her shoulders. "That isn't even what I want from you - I know that you don't." Zach reached up and cupped her smooth face, his thumb tracing the curve of her cheekbone, while his fingers wound themselves in her hair. "But I need you to understand that I am not lying to you."

Kendall tried to pull away, but he held her close with his free arm. The usual headiness did not ensue, though there were the same physical reactions: her heart was pounding against her chest as her senses were being inundated with him - his familiar warm, musky scent mixed with scotch, his burning touch, and the heat pouring out from him. Instead, she found herself unexpectedly calm - quiet; and his words rung clearly in her ears.

"I love you, Kendall Hart Slater," he said, repeating the very words he had spoken that fateful night. "And I think I will love you until the earth turns cold and grey. You make everything brighter, more vibrant; I don't think I've ever met or will meet another woman like you." Zach studied her face once again, believing he could never grow tired of seeing it, as it always brought new and unexpected joy and sorrow. He closed his eyes, his gaze remaining upon her face until the darkness fell before him, resting his head against hers. "I hope one day you will know that," he slid his hand down from her face and rested it upon her chest, "in your heart. I hope that one day you will know with someone, the love that I have found in you."

It was like the words made sense now. Her head did not spin in the same way. Though there was a lightness, it was a completely different feeling. Her heart slowed as she felt the warmth of his palm against her chest. "Z-Zach," she whispered, finding her voice again. "I..."

Suddenly coolness filled the space where warmth and love had been. She wavered slightly, as Zach pulled away from the embrace, taking with him his strength; her body feeling cold and devoid of emotion. Kendall lifted her gaze to meet his, and she saw something flicker across the dark reflection of his eyes - it was a look she knew too well, as she saw it too often in the mirror. _Disappointment and loss_.

"Zach," she breathed, reaching out to him.

"I'll have my bags packed and the bellman pick them up," he coughed, his gaze downcast.

"Wh-what?" Her hand dropped to her side.

"You were right," Zach said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I hurt you. I could love you for eternity, and all I do is cause pain." This would be where it would end. He would make the right choices for those he loved. "I love you, and here you are," he gestured to her darkened expression, "in pain."

"You're n-not making any sens...," she sputtered, finally grasping that he truly did have feelings for her - even loved her.

"You deserve to find love, Kendall," he said, nodding, knowing it would not be with him. That had been made obvious. "And though you can't find it with me, I won't stand in the way of it."

Kendall was stunned. She had no words. All she could do was blink, trying to wake up from what appeared to be Zach leaving her.

"I won't file for the divorce again," Zach informed. "I know it's a stressful thing, so when you're ready..."

He knew from today's display that they had rushed into this divorce. Perhaps it was the stress of the miscarriage or even the divorce itself that had caused Kendall to lash out. But one thing he did know, Kendall would need to be the one to decide. He knew being unavailable kept her from being open to others - to love - however unexpected his falling in love with her was. Or that was how it was supposed to work.

"S-so, you're leaving," she asked in shock and disbelief. "Just like that?"

"I'll always be here for you, Kendall," he said, leaning in and pressing his lips on her forehead. "Whenever you need me." Swallowing hard, he took a step back, smiling wistfully at this woman who had made him love again.

"Y-You're kidding, right?" She believed him. She believed he loved her. But he was walking away.

_'Why wouldn't he?' a small voice questioned. 'You don't love him.'_

"I just think I need some time away," he answered honestly. It was like he had gone through an intense physical workout. And at that moment, Zach could have fallen over he was so tired. "It'll be good."

"But..."

"I have to make some arrangments before I leave," Zach interrupted, forcing a smile on his lips. Coming to this conclusion had cost him everything, and he found he could not be in the same room with her. It was like watching the longings and desires for a happy ending slowly fade away. He leaned in, kissed her quickly on the cheek and turned to leave.

"Wh-Wha...but..." She didn't know what to do. Kendall stood there frozen. She opened her mouth to stop him, but it was too late.

And in a split second, the man of her dreams, walked out of her life.


	13. Chapter Twelve:Learning From My Mistakes

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. If you did, you'd totally notice. Because the show wouldn't suck as much. And Babe and Krystal would have been abducted by aliens a long time ago.  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** I am surviving you guys...I think. Actually, I'm pretty happy that I managed to bring out this update. Since I didn't know when I'd get another chance. Plus, Liz was harping on me...AGAIN.  
**A/N 2:** Beth. Beth. Beth. You're sooooo not going to be happy with me. Actually, be prepared. This chapter is pretty short. But I hope all of you, with I'm sure with the exception of Beth, will be pleased with the update ;)

**Chapter Twelve: Learning From My Mistakes**

_And in how many ways did I screw that one up?_ Kendall stared at the closed hotel room door. He hadn't come back. Part of her prayed that it would open again, revealing his statuesque form, with a wry expression, admitting that he could never leave her.

_But it didn't happen that way._

It had been at least a half an hour since he had professed his love and left her standing on the terrace...alone.

And honestly, she knew it was her fault. She was going to tell him that she loved him. When his words finally had penetrated the wall she had built, shattering her defenses and piercing the armor she had kept to protect herself, Kendall had wanted to tell him. But then he began telling her that he knew she didn't love him, and that he hoped that she would be able to find someone for her to love as he loved her; all of it happened so fast.

_Stupid. I was so stupid._

Kendall crumpled onto couch, covering her face with her hands, succombing to the sobs that wracked her body.

This was insane. He had boarded the jet, prepared to head to parts unknown, when they had been flagged down. It had been slightly foggy when he boarded but..._Weather unpermitting._

--&--

Sitting in front of the Bellevue, Zach was unable to decide whether it was the smart thing to return to the place where he had just let go of the single most important woman in his life. _What am I going to do?_ His pilot refused to fly, even though he had offered a substantial bonus to his annual salary if they could leave right then.

He certainly could not spend another night in the same suite with Kendall. It would be impossible. He couldn't imagine she would want him there after what had occurred that night. Finally opening the door, Zach walked up to the front desk, pondering what exactly he should do.

"Mr. Slater, you've come back," the front desk agent smiled welcomingly.

"Yes," he replied casually. He could not stay with Kendall, but if they had another room..."I will be needing a room."

"Your wife is still staying in the honeymoon suite, sir?"

"I will be needing _another_ room," he repeated himself, his tone firm, commanding no questions be asked.

"Certainly, Mr. Slater."

"And I do not want Mrs. Slater to know that I am here," Zach informed, locking eyes with the front desk agent. "Is that clear?"

"Of course," the man answered quickly, handing him a registration form. Hesitantly he looked at Zach, "Will you still be taking care of the balance of both rooms? Or will Mrs. Slater be taking care of her own costs?"

"No," Zach frowned. "I will be taking care of everything. Do not bother her for any reason."

"Yes, Mr. Slater. You are in Room 1210."

"If I'm correct, that's near Mrs. Slater's suite?"

"Y-Yes, sir. Is that a problem?" Najam asked anxiously. "Because I can move you to another room, if this isn't to your liking?"

"No." Zach stared at the key card for a moment before snapping out of his reverie. "This will be fine," he replied distantly. "It's fine."

_--&--_

_She had cried herself to sleep. The dull throbbing in her heart remained as she awoke, groggily untangling herself from the blankets left on the couch by Zach. They still smelled like him._

_'God, what am I going to do?' she thought._

_Kendall was tired of picking herself up time and time again from heartbreak. Whether it was the fault of the person she had chosen to love or it was her own folly, she was tired of the it ending in the same result. Her, alone._

_Suddenly she heard the click of the coded lock. Frowning, Kendall smoothed her disheveled hair back, unsure of who could possibly have access to her room. "Who's there?" she demanded anxiously._

_There was no answer. _

_The door opened a crack, stopping, as if whoever controlled it hesitated for a moment, before continuing its slow reveal. Kendall held her breath, unsure of whether to scream or run away. But it was neither of those options. "Zach." He stood there, his expression morose, his brow furrowed, like he did not want to be there._

_'I can't screw this up again,' she thought to herself._

_"Don't say anything," she whispered, walking over to him. Grabbing his hand in hers, she pulled him into the room. "Please, there's something I need to say to you."_

_He nodded._

_"Zach, I made a mistake. I was so wrong," she blurted out, clinging to the hand in hers. "I wanted so much to believe you. But I couldn't. I just couldn't let myself do it."_

_Kendall couldn't believe that he was really here. She never got second chances. But here he was, listening to her. Here he was, with her._

_"You don't know how hard I had to fight against this. I didn't love you. In fact, I hated you. I thought I hated everything you stood for. That was what made this a perfect match. I could never love you." She looked into his dark brown eyes, as they stared longingly into hers. "But you changed; or I stopped seeing you the way I used to," she said, trying to find the right words to convince him to stay. "It was everything you said to me. I saw you treat Bianca with such love and tenderness, even though you tried to your hardest to hide it. You were loyal to a fault."_

_"What are you trying to say?"_

_"Oh god, I'm sorry, Zach," she said, tears running down her cheek. "I told you that I didn't want this. I can't believe I told you to take it back." She shook her head, pulling his hand closer to her. "I saw the pain I caused. But it was something I still couldn't hear, do you understand?"_

_He did not say anything, but instead, stared at her in confusion._

_"I love you, Zach Slater!" she blurted out. Her heart was pounding against her chest. She could not hold it in any longer. She could not lie to herself or to him anymore. "You were always there. I wanted to pretend that it was just in your best interest - that you were doing it out of some sense of obligation. But I see now. I see that you love me. I see that you r-really truly love me."_

_"Kendall..." Both his hands grasped hers tightly._

_She searched his eyes, hoping against all hope that it wasn't too late. Kendall prayed that her declaration of love wasn't too late. "Tell me I wasn't too late," she whispered, cupping his face in her hands. "Tell me it isn't too late for our love."_

_Her eyes met his, as if truly seeing him for the first time, as she inched closer to him. Holding her breath, wondering if he'd pull away, she lowered her lips upon his, her eyes never leaving his. "I love you," she whispered, before indulging in the warmth of his lips._

_----&----_

"I love you, Zach."

Suddenly there was a loud thud outside her door. Kendall sat up, startled by the abstract noise, her arms wrapped around a down-feather pillow. Her heart was pounding as the memory of Zach's lips on hers lingered. Her hand grazed her lips before staring down at the pillow she had dropped, her face warm and flush. _It had been a dream. It had only been a dream._

Closing her eyes, Kendall sunk forward, as the painful loss flooded over her again.

--&--

His room was down the corridor and to the left of the honeymoon suite he had just vacated. The bellman had already taken his luggage to his room, while he was trying to rearrange meetings around his sudden inability to depart this god-forsaken island. As he strode past the room, Zach could not help but pause in front of the door.

_'Take it back!'_

_'You want to hurt me, is that it?'_

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the memory of those accusations from his mind. As hard as he tried, he always managed to screw everything up. Letting out a deep breath, Zach opened his eyes, placing his hand upon the door. "At least I'm learning from my mistakes," he whispered softly to Kendall. "And I'm letting go before I hurt you even more."

He hoped that she could be happy now. Or at least at peace. He did not want to cause her anymore strife or confusion with declarations of love. His hand dropped to his side. _Get a grip on these emotions run amok._ He would get back to the life he knew, he had made for himself; he had to make his love for Kendall disappear. He had to make it so it didn't matter anymore.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Losing It

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. If you did, you'd totally notice. Because the show wouldn't suck as much. And Babe and Krystal would have been abducted by aliens a long time ago.  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** I am surviving you guys...I think. Actually, I'm pretty happy that I managed to bring out this update. Since I didn't know when I'd get another chance. Plus, Liz was harping on me...AGAIN.  
**A/N 2:** Beth. Beth. Beth. You're sooooo not going to be happy with me. Actually, be prepared. This chapter is pretty short. But I hope all of you, with I'm sure with the exception of Beth, will be pleased with the update ;)

**Chapter Thirteen: Losing It**

Padding around the hotel room was not as fun as she imagined it would be. The weather had turned from slightly gloomy to worse. And she did not know a living soul. Part of her feared she was going to have to make friends with the housekeeping maids.

Zach was gone. She had no one to turn to. But she was stranded, for who knows how long. Then her thoughts turned to Zach, whom she assumed caught the first plane out yesterday night, and whether he had gotten caught in the storm. It hadn't turned for the worst, but depending on where he had gone, he could have headed straight into the storm. Her heart skipped a beat. _Oh God, please let him be all right. Let the pilot have the wisdom to head away from the storm._

Silently Kendall kicked herself for even going there. She did not need to think about something that horrible. Hers was the imagination that went into overdrive. She had the imagination of a six-year-old, capable of coming up with the most fantastical and illogical scenarios. Suddenly she began wringher her hands, as her imagnation took flight.

_The plane could have been caught in the fog, been unable to land. Which wouldn't be so bad, since they would just have to fly around until the fog passed, or cleared enough so the flight tower would give them clearance._ She smiled nodding, telling herself that was exactly what could have happened. _Or, they could have run out of fuel and their plane crashed._

_Yeah that was a cheery thought._ Kendall rolled her eyes, pacing back and forth. She could call him on his cell phone, find out of he was all right. However, he had asked for some time alone. _C'mon, it's not like you need to hear the sound of his voice._

"Okay," she breathed, walking over to the dresser drawers. "Don't freak out. Don't panic. He's probably sitting on some hot beach somewhere, sipping on some Mai Tai."

_'Or caught in some electrical storm, which has sort circuited their navigational instruments, causing them to be lost in the middle of the ocean somewhere,' another voice offered._

"No!" Kendall shook her head, pulling on a thin cream sweater and wrapping it around her. "You, Kendall are not going to think that way. You can't. You're going to see him again. You're going to get a chance to tell him that you don't want a divorce." She walked out onto the terrace, staring out at the overcast sky, a slight mist in the air, so she could only see a few meters out. The wind was blowing, causing the tops of the palm trees to bend in the wind; and causing a haunting howl and high-pitched shriek.

Images of him trying to stay afloat in the ocean floated past her eyes, as well as images of a flaming heap of metal spiraling down through the night sky, with him in it. _Okay, you're going to drive yourself insane._

"Maybe if I took a walk," she spoke to herself out loud. The wind had picked up, but she thought that the howling might keep the voices in her head - accusing or otherwise - at bay. Pulling the sweater tightly around her body, her arms hugging herself, she set out into the foggy mist, hoping that it would have cleared near the waters.

Kendall pondered what she would do if she heard knews that Zach's flight had gone missing. Her pulse sped up at the thought. No charming smirk? No one to explain to her the exasperating understanding of who she was, when she didn't understand it herself? _I don't think I can picture that._ For some reason her walk was not clearing her mind or relaxing her, instead it was making her more uptight and tense.

Blindly she stumbled her way onto the beach, feeling her way around, trying not to walk into a palm tree. The air seemed to cool even more as she got closer to the beach. Her body was trembling now, but it felt good. The thought of the cold kept her from thinking of other things.

She stood on the beach, the white surf lapping at the shore only inches away from her toes. It was clearer out here. She could see some of the night sky, through the patched clouds. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, letting the cold air fill her lungs. Then slowly, and methodically, Kendall exhaled, letting go of the tension that filled her body.

_Zach, where are you?_

--&--

It was a brisk night. Part of him finally had to admit that the tower controllers actually knew what they had been talking about. He had been headed south, and from the reports on the television, it would have been far worse had he flown last night.

Getting up from his desk, which was filled with scattered papers, he peered out into the grey mist. Kendall's room wasn't visible from his window, and for that he was grateful. Zach knew how much she loved to stand out there during the night, letting the cool breeze float over her. Almost every night he watched her stand with her eyes closed, her body swaying slightly, as if to some inaudible music only she could hear.

_Okay, this has got to stop._ He cleared his throat, running his fingers through is hair. It was a little longer than he liked it; he would soon need a haircut. Of course he hadn't been thinking of such things when down on this island with Kendall.

There he went again.

"Maybe if I just take a walk," he said to himself. His eyes narrowed, trying to see through the mist. He didn't imagine anyone would be out in this kind of weather.

_Just to clear my head._

_--&--_

Taking a flashlight with him, Zach still could not make out hide nor hair of the obstacles in front of him. It was more fog than he had anticipated. But with careful effort, he finally managed to find his way to the beach. He stood on the outskirts of the sparsely forested area, as his side of the resort was not as well landscaped as his previous room, staring out into the majestic beauty of the creation in front of him. It was amazing. How the elements combined to meld into such a beautiful landscape, he could never understand.

The mist still lingered, wafting out towards the water, like a thin sea of grey. He stood leaning against a nearby palm tree, resting a moment and taking in the scenery. Zach had brought no coat, and had not packed for this unexpected drop in tempurature; instead, he stood slightly cowering against the wind, the barrier of the tree trunk his only shield. Suddenly out in the mist, Zach furrowed his brow, as he thought he saw something moving out by the waters. As he drew nearer to the ocean's ledge, his eyes made out a tall, thin figure, standing in the surf. He couldn't imagine who was crazy enough to be out in this weather, other than himself, of course.

It wasn't until he was only a few feet away that Zach suddenly realized who it was. _Kendall._

_----&----_

_Where is he?_ Kendall wrapped her arms around her arms, shuddering slightly as a chill ran down her spine. She began rubbing her arms, trying to stave off the cold. The wind had picked up.

_Maybe I should head in?_

Kendall was ready to head in when out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw something move in the shadows's mist. Freezing, she felt her heart leap into her throat, wondering whether it was some dangerous animal or possibly a thief, murder or worse. Squinting, she leaned forward trying to discern whether it was her imagination or reality. "Who's out there?" she yelled, hoping that if it was an animal it would frighten them away. "Hello?"

Zach took a step back, finding safe haven under the coverage of the plants and trees. He hadn't expected her to see or even notice him. Part of him felt compelled to drag her back to her room, and lecture her on the dangers of being out in weather like this. _Yeah, and she'd come back with the fact that he was being a chauvinist because here he was in the same weather._ The corner of his lip twitched at the thought, knowing that was exactly what she would have done.

"If you're some stupid scary beast, shoo!" Kendall jumped forward quickly, hoping it would startle the animal or human away. Waving her hands in front of her, she shouted, "ShOO! Git!" Inching forward, towards the area where she had thought she had seen the mysterious animal/thing, she couldn't believe what she was doing. If she had any sense, she would have run. _Where is Zach when I need him?_

He watched as she drew closer, making strange jerky movements with her body, hopping forward like a retarded monkey. It took everything in him not to laugh out loud. _The poor girl._

Kendall slid her hand down by the sand and picked up a smooth stick that lay nearby. "Here kitty kitty," she called softly, her eyes darting around, prepared for just about anything. "Mama's gotta nice little present for you."

Zach turned his back to her, unable to watch anymore; he needed to regain his composure, before he broke his cover. She really was something. _Even willing to face down lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my._

"Hey, anyone out there?" she said, repeating herself, as loudly as possible.

Zach glanced from behind the tree and found her only a few feet away from where he was. His body tensed, not wanting her to find him. When he had told Kendall he needed time, he hadn't been lying. As much as he cared, he knew he could not be around her right now. He needed time to cool off - time to figure out what to do with his life now that it couldn't include her.

"Hey," Kendall frowned, leaning forward, stick held up, ready to strike out at anything that might come rushing at her. She thought she had seen something move again. It was hiding behind some plants to her left. "I see you. Come out now!"

She was, of course, bluffing. Not knowing if it was some guest wandering, or a peeping Tom, or something else, Kendall hoped they would finally acknowledge her. _C'mon! I know you're out there._

Zach brought his arms in, trying to make himself as small as possible (as if that were somehow possible), and grimaced as she was only a foot away from him and his hiding spot. Thankfully it was still foggy, so it wasn't quite as easy to see what was straight in front of you. He glanced down at his feet, carefully maneuvering his way around the sticks and plants, trying not to make any noise and give away his position.

_Damn it!_ Why did it have to be so foggy? Kendall growled, hating how her heart was pounding against her chest, able to almost palpably feel the presence of who or whatever was out there. Her eyes darted around, trying to catch a glimpse of it again.

He stepped to his right, as she approached from his right; and suddenly he heard a light 'crack'. Zach held his breath, pressing himself up against the tree trunk, hoping she missed it. Kendall's head snapped to her left, her eyes narrowing. She had heard it.

Whatever it was, had suddenly given its' position away. Instead of revealing that knowledge, she turned her head in the opposite direction, hoping to give her prey a false sense of relief. _C'mon, I'm so close._

Zach hung close to the tree, even though she seemed to have dismissed the noise he had inadvertently made. When she moved a few steps away from his position, he leaned forward, preparing to make a dash for it. Taking a deep breath, he counted, _'One. Two. Three...'_ His first stride was long, trying to get as much distance between them in the first step, before she could catch on.

Kendall felt a shift in the air. And now she knew it was a person, not an animal, that was her mysterious companion. Spinning around and taking a sidestep in one motion, she reached out with her free hand, grasping smooth material; it felt like a suit jacket. "Gotcha," she exclaimed victoriously.

Startled, Zach managed to keep his body turned away from her. She had caught a part of his elbow, and by pulling back, he was able to release her grip on him. It was enough time for him to get a few strides in between them. She must have been wearing heels or sandals because he heard her swear stumbling on the tangled vines that ran along the ground, trying to catch him. He slowed slightly, turning back to make sure she was all right; she hadn't further injured herself from the other day.

The mystery man took off ahead of her, jogging lightly, as if taunting her to come get him. She reached down pulling off her sandals and continued to pursue her quarry. "You can't run far," Kendall yelled irritably. "The hotel surrounds you on ever side, unless you want to go deeper into the jungle."

Zach shook his head as he jogged lightly ahead, as he listened to her trying to lie about which direction he was going, and where they were headed. He knew she would continue the chase, she was stubborn like that. In a snap decision, Zach headed straight towards her suite, knowing she would get lost if he tried to ditch her. He knew their surroundings well enough that he knew how to lose her near the east side of the hotel. Plus he had a flashlight, which she didn't. Part of him just hoped she would lose interest once they had arrived back at her hotel room.

"Who are you?" She thought he looked familiar, but couldn't place it. Wet plant foliage slapped her in the face, as she tried to keep up with him. Her ankle was aching slightly, as she trampled upon uneven ground in bare feet. She tried to keep an eye ahead and one on the ground, a plan that wasn't working well for her. Luckily for her, the path ahead was emptying of plants, and became more of a trail. She was only a couple of feet behind him, if she just hurried...Kendall reached out her arm, her fingers nearly grazing his back.

He hadn't been paying attention. _She must have picked up her pace in the last few feet._ But it didn't matter, they were almost in front of the suite. Zach leaned forward, ducking the large leave hanging in front of him, he began to sprint, weaving through the trees that anchored each side of the terrace.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" Kendall lunged forward, but didn't see the large fern-like plant dangling in front of her before it was too late. It smacked her in the face, causing the moistness collected upon its' foliage to spray into her eyes, blinding her momentarily. "Ugh," she cried, falling to her knees.

Zach turned around in time to see her drop to her knees. He was a few feet away, hidden in the shadows, as he watched her nurse her eyes. Wavering slightly, he had to stop himself from running to help her back to her room. _I have to let her go. She can do this on her own._

Once he saw her get up, on her own accord, Zach knew she was fine. She glanced around, still on the prowl for her 'chase', but when she realized she had lost him, she turned to back to the suite. Zach let out a sigh of relief when Kendall seemed to give up on him and go back to her room. "It's for the best," he whispered, before turning to make the long trip around back to his room.

--&--

Her ankle was throbbing again. Kendall dragged her tired body into the clean, dry, warm room, glancing only briefly over her shoulder, just in case her stalker-turned prey was still near. Nothing. Part of her was relieved. She didn't know why she had gone off like that, chasing a total and complete stranger.

But was he? There was something familiar about him. _Great, now I'm obsessing over a stalker._

Kendall peeled off her now damp sweater and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top, changing into the warm clothes. The night had been a complete bust. The fact that she had gone out to the beach wanting to get away from Zach - thoughts of him, wanting him - and ended up completely engrossed in a total panic attack about whether he was all right..._Which I still don't know the answer to!_ She fell backwards into her bed. _Did the guy never hear of a cell phone?_

She closed her eyes, letting out something between a frustrated cry and an angry growl. "You suck, Zach Slater!" Suddenly her phone rang, which caused her to jump up, freaked out at the timing of it all. Splaying her body across the bed, she tenatively picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Hey," A low husky voice greeted her on the other end of the receiver.

"Z-Zach?" Her heart beat hard against her chest, her breath caught in her throat. "Is that you?"

The man certainly had timing. Here she was cursing the guy and he has the nerve to actually call. She looked at the receiver, debating whether to throw it across the room.

"Kendall?" A wisp of a voice could be heard at the end of the receiver.

_I bet you would just looooove to know that I was worried about you._ Kendall glared at the phone, which kept calling her name. Here she was almost on the verge of a panic attack and he was probably snuggled cozily by some fireplace, or on some luxury yacht.

"Kendall?" She could hear him almost shout over the phone.

"What?" she said irritably. "What is it? Why did you call?"

"I...I just wanted to let you know I was all right," he said softly. "I know I didn't leave things...well, I should have at least said goodbye."

Kendall rolled onto her back, her anger dissipating, glad to just hear his voice. "Well," she breathed, trying to think of what to say. "You should be."

"And that's why I'm calling you."

"Well, I-I'm glad." It took everything in her to just say that. Kendall closed her eyes and sighed softly. _Yeah, the whole admitting you're in love with him would have been much easier._

She couldn't even tell him how glad she was to know he was all right.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, "well, I just wanted to let you know I was all right."

"You didn't get caught in the storm?" Kendall rolled onto her stomach now, intrigued to know how he missed the storm, which rolled upon them so suddenly. "It came on so fast, how did your plane manage to get clearance?" she asked curiously.

"U-Uh, yeah," he stammered. "I guess I was lucky. You know, to not get caught in the storm." There was a pause. "So you were thinking about me?"

Kendall felt her stomach tighten at his unexpected question. "Well, uh, of course," she muttered, kicking herself for opening herself up like that. "I-I would have felt guilty if your plane had crashed or something."

"Nope. No crash."

"Well that's good." Her eyes darted around the room, trying to think of what else they could possibly talk about. He had left her. The only thing he wanted to hear from her was when the divorce would be.

"Well, if there was..." She could hear him slightly hedge. "You would be well taken care of. Since you're still Mrs. Zach Slater."

Her eyes shot open. He had not just said that to her. As much as they had 'kept their distance', Kendall couldn't believe Zach believed she would rejoice in his death. "Y-You jerk!" she exclaimed angrily, sitting up. "How...how can you even say that?"

There was silence on his part.

_Good thing._ She didn't want to hear any excuses. "That's the most inconsiderate thing you've said in the span of a whole five minute's conversation!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean it like..."

"Like what?" Kendall barked. "Like I'm just after your money? I'm a gold-digging opportunist? Sorry, but you're wrong there. I had my own business, Zach, if you so conveniently forgot. And I didn't _need_ your money. If you recall, you were the one in danger of losing your casino licenses."

"I know."

"Well good," she huffed. Before she went into another tirade, she heard the soft padding of feet. She glanced towards the door. It was probably the bellman. "Zach..."

Before another word was uttered, she heard scratching over the phone, as if Zach were muffling the receiver. He didn't do a very good job, as she heard his footsteps and what sounded like knocking against wood. _Where is he? Is that a slut to satisfy his needs since our marriage was so obviously not about that?_

_'Room service,' said a muffled voice over the phone._

Kendall furrowed her brow at the odd timing of it all.

"Sorry," Zach breathed heavily, as if he had run to the door. "Just had to get the door."

"Uh, yeah." She had the craziest notion pop into her head. _What if Zach was still here?_ Kendall shook her head. That was ludicrous. Zach left the island. He said he had to get away...get away from her.

"Well, I, uh, better get going," he said restlessly. "I've got a lot of work to get back to..."

"No," Kendall replied quickly, biting the inside of her lip. "I-I don't want to keep you." She chuckled nervously. "I completely understand. I've got some of my own stuff to do."

"You're okay then? Not...well, good? " His question seemed double-edged, as if he had somehow heard about her mysterious stalker-prey friend.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" she boasted, putting on a brave face. "Just dandy. Couldn't be better!"

_Liar._

"Great then," he breathed into the receiver. "I'm glad. I'm glad I made the right choice." There was a long pause. "Take care, Kendall."

She waited to hear something more. Part of her expected him to find someway to prolong their conversation, but she was only met with a soft click. Kendall stared at the receiver, unable to grasp what had just taken place. Was she so easily forgotten? Was she so easy to let go? Staring at the phone, she realized she had just let another opportunity go.

An opportunity to say: I love you.

--&--

"What do you mean it's gotten worse?" Kendall strode down the corridors of the hotel and was now entering the main lobby. "You get me a flight out of here, now!" she demanded. "I want the first flight out..." Before she could finish her sentence, the ticket agent had hung up on her. _Of all the nerve..._

"Mrs. Slater!" The same front desk agent that had forced her and Zach into the same living quarters beckoned her over. "Are you leaving us today?" he asked curiously. "Because I did not think anyone would leave the island with the onset of the hurricane."

"H-Hurricane?" Kendall's eyes widened. _Hurricane? Oh, no. This is not happening._

"Only a minor one," said Mujab. At least that is what it said on his name tag.

"What do you consider minor?" she asked, shaking her head. "Flying coconuts or flying monkeys?"

The man laughed, seemingly undisturbed at the mention of 'hurricane'. "You're safe here," he explained reassuringly. "We hardly ever receive the brunt of the hurricane's wrath."

"Hardly," she repeated the only word that seemed to matter. "Which means there's a probability of it receiving it all?" Placing both hands on the desk, she lowered her head, trying to take long deep breaths. She didn't want to die like this. First Zach disappeared and now she was going to die in a hurricane?

"Mrs. Slater, I did not mean to upset you," he said earnestly. "Please, calm down."

"I. Am. Calm." She hadn't been feeling well this morning, her head spun momentarily as she dressed. However, Kendall wasn't quite sure what the cause was. Was it that her marriage was over - all that needed to be done was the paper work? Or could it have been the damp cold that embraced her last night?

"Please," Mujab said soothingly. "Rest yourself in your room, and I will have our bellman bring you something to eat."

"No. No. Nonono," she muttered, as she closed her eyes - the room spinning around her. "I want to get off this island!"

"You did not enjoy your stay here?"

"No." Kendall lifted her head and met the hotel employee's inquiring gaze. "No, I did not," she grimaced. Her head dipped, unable to hold her head up. "Of course, what should I expect when coming down here for a divorce..."

"Divorce?" The front desk agent seemed shocked and dismayed. "I-I did not know," he said apologetically. "I-I had no idea. Mr. Slater never mentioned..."

"Well, Mr. Slater isn't one for much conversation," she hissed, trying to force the nausea away. "At least, when it comes at the convenience of other people. No, he likes to blurt things out and then run away..." She wasn't directing her comments to the man in front of him really. It was just venting.

"Mrs. Slater," Mujab paused. "Or should I refer to you as something els..."

"Mrs. Slater is fine," Kendall informed, as the swirl of the room began to slow down. "We haven't gotten divorced...yet."

"Well, I've had several guests return, as their flights were cancelled due to the weather," he explained slowly. "And I would hazard a guess that no plane will be leaving Port au Prince anytime soon."

"Great," she groaned, running her hands through her hair. "This is _just_ great!"

"Do you need help back to your room?" he asked worriedly, leaning over to help her upright. "I can call the bellman to escort you back to your room."

"No," Kendall said firmly, straightening her posture, her hand resting on the counter for balance. "I'm fine. Really." She took her first step away from the security of the counter and stumbled. For some reason her sense of balance was just slightly off.

Wihout another word, Kendall felt a strong arm come up along side her. The casually dressed bellman did not treat her like an invalid, for which she was grateful, as he helped her back to her room. She wasn't sure what it was, but Kendall was positive she was coming down with something. As they made their way down the corridor, she had a hard time keeping her eyes open, as the cool walls and lights seemed to spin and swirl around her, blurring in front of her eyes. Her surroundings kept coming in and out of focus.

Kendall squinted her eyes, trying to keep the objects around her from moving, when she saw a tall figure in front of her. His back was to her, but she recognized him as the mystery man. "Hey!" she bellowed down the hall. "You! Stop!"

"Miss," the bellman said softly. "Please, keep your voice down."

Kendall glanced at the young man in his mid to late teens. She knew that look. He thought she was intoxicated. _Great! I'm sick and the bellboy thinks I'm a drunk foreigner._ "Listen," she said determinedly, pointing with her purse in hand. "That man, was stalking me last night."

"Miss?" He looked quite skeptical.

"I chased him down in the jungle," she exclaimed, pulling him towards the figure who had disappeared around the corner. "But I tripped and lost him! Now help me chase him down."

The boy pulled back a moment, seemingly uncertain as to what to do.

"The customer is always right," Kendall reminded irritably. "Or does that not apply here in Haiti?"

This seemed to motivate the boy, who continued their forward movement towards her room and towards the mystery man.

"I'm not crazy," she muttered to the bellboy. "I did chase him. I was standing on the beach and there was someone watching me..." Kendall stopped talking as they rounded the corner. She knew that was what the bellboy was thinking, as he tried to keep his gaze ahead, instead of meeting her gaze. She must have sounded insane.

Of course how was that different than any other day?

"Miss," the bellboy hedged, stopping in front of her suite. "We must have lost him."

Kendall scanned the corridor for any signs of a door closing or a door left ajar. There was nothing. _Damn it._ She had lost him again.

--&--

Zach knew it had been close. He hadn't expected to encounter Kendall in the hallway that afternoon. He had been very careful to monitor where she was. _So much for the staff keeping him 'in the know'_.

He had been surprised though, that she hadn't caught up to him, when she had been so close. However, for some reason there had been a bellboy at her side. He had heard her 'discussing loudly' why the sudden need to chase him down. When he had was certain that she was not hot on his heels, Zach got a quick peek around the corner, where Kendall was discussing something with the bellboy. They were standing outside her door, his hand seemed to be grasping hers, and she seemed upset. After much gesturing, Zach knew they were coming after him. Luckily his room was only a few steps away and he scurried into his room before they made it around the corner.

_Kendall looked pale today._

As he walked towards his window with the ocean view, Zach could not help but wonder why there had been a bellman at her side. In fact, the boy seemed to be helping her, not hindering her in her pursuit of him. "What is wrong with Kendall? he asked himself out loud.

There was no point mulling over what could be wrong with his wife. He walked over to the phone and punched in '0' for the front desk. A friendly voice greeted him over the phone. "Hello, Mujab," he answered. "I saw my wife just a few moments ago. Can you tell me what happened? Has her ankle worsened?"

"Ah, Mr. Slater!" the front desk clerk greeted excitedly. "Yes, yes. Your wife seems to have taken ill."

"What do you mean?" he frowned. His thoughts drifted back to yesterday evening. She had been wearing only a thin sweater, and it had been quite cold out in that fog. "What happened to her?"

"She seemed to be having problems walking," he explained. "I suppose she was having dizzy spells, as you call them. I had our bellman escort her back to her room."

"Well did you send a doctor to her room as well?"

"Our bellman offered, but your wife seemed to refuse. In fact, she threatened to sue after Janan tried to get her to reconsider."

Zach shook his head and sighed. _Stubborn to the hilt._ "All right," he answered anxiously. "I want you to keep an eye on my wife. Send her refreshments - orange juice, fruit, whatever else she might possibly need - and don't let her out of your sight."

"Well, Mr. Slater," Mujab hesitated. "OUr hotel is not..."

Zach interrupted, knowing what the hotel agent was going to say, "I am not asking you to spy on her."

"Oh good, you understand..."

"But I need you to keep an eye on her, for the specfic reason that she is not feeling well and has refused medical treatment," he said, speaking over top of the Haitian. "And I'm sure you do not want any lawsuits against this hotel for mistreatment of its' guests."

"No, of course not, sir," Mujab replied quickly.

"I'm not asking much. Just keep an eye on her movements," Zach explained. "If she leaves the room or calls down for anything, let me know."

"B-But Mr. Slater," the front desk clerk hedged, "would it not be easier for you just to check in on her? You seem quite worried about her, and I am sure she would appreciate the concern?"

"No," he stated firmly. "And you will not tell her I am here. Am I clear, Mujab?"

There was a pause and then a loud sigh. "Yes, Mr. Slater," Mujab answered. "We will do our best to accomodate you and your wife."

"Good."

Knowing they would monitor her gave him a minute amount of relief about her condition. But part of him could not help but be concerned at whether this might have anything to do with her miscarriage. There was a low probability, but he did not want to take any chances. For all intensive purposes, Zach suspected she had just caught a cold.

_But I have to be sure._

_--&--_

Kendall lay in bed, in and out of consciousness. Once she had gotten back to her room, she found she wanted to do nothing more than curl up under the covers. She couldn't open her eyes because whenever she did, the lamps and the flowers spun together and danced before her eyes.

_Maybe if I just slept a little..._

_--&--_

Night had fallen, and Zach had not heard a peep from the front desk or from Kendall. It was a good sign. He had inquired to Dr. Mulatto about her symptoms, to which he had responded, "It sounds as if she has caught a bug or maybe a virus." There was nothing he could do about that.

When the bellman had come up with room service, there had been no answer at the door. Zach watched from around the corner, as the tanned boy waited patiently at the door. When there was still no answer after the third knock, Zach had given him permission to enter the room. Janan had been hesitant, but he had reassured him that it was all right. He was her husband. Zach waited for the bellboy to leave before peaking in on his wife. She was sound asleep in bed.

It had alevated a lot of his anxieties that something far worse was wrong with her.

He hovered at the edge of her bed, not wanting to disturb her sleep. Deep down, Zach knew this was defeating his purpose of staying away, but he could not help himself. Her cheeks were flush from a slight fever; but somehow it made her even more beautiful. His finger grazed her temple, as he pushed a stray lock of hair back into place.

"Sweet dreams."

--&--

"Zach!" Bolting up, Kendall struggled to open her eyes, as the haze of her dreams still lingered in her mind, as if expecting someone to be there. Through the haze only darkness abounded.

Kendall rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Her head was clearer than earlier that afternoon, but she still felt ill. Acclamating herself to the darkness, Kendall realized it was the middle of the night. Evening had fallen unbeknownst to her. She had slept the entire night away. As she lay in bed, she could hear the howling of the wind; its whistle sending a shiver down her spine. The palm trees leaned, as if testing its' flexibility, the tops floundering wildly outside.

The eerie atmosphere sent her thoughts back to her dream - or nightmare; she wasn't quite sure which it was. It was as dark, if not darker than it was now, and she had been alone, as she was now. Greenlee and Ryan had been standing over her. They wore black - a solemn expression on their faces.

She had tried to speak, but no one could hear. They had this expression of intense grief and sorrow. For a moment, Kendall thought perhaps she was dead. Maybe the hurricane had swallowed the resort whole, with her inside. But it hadn't made sense. Then, without another thought, she now saw what they saw.

A child's coffin.

Her chest tightened at the thought of that image again. A polished black enamel finish, the coffin hovered in front of her, as she stood speechless. The air seemed to get sucked out of her as she caressed the final resting place of her unborn child. Kendall hadn't thought it could get worse. But then a familiar voice called to her, _'Kendall.'_ Recalling the memory sent a shiver down her spine as it did in her dream.

_----&----_

_"Zach?"_

_"I'm sorry," he whispered, his head dipping slightly to touch hers. "You would have been a great mother."_

_"It wasn't hers," Greenlee growled._

_Out of the corner of her eyes, Greenlee glared accusingly, a harsh and brightlight shining behind her. "It never did belong to you," Ryan reasoned calmly, as he came alongside his wife. "I am surprised you came."_

_"I told you to be careful," her best friend said, her teeth clenched._

_Kendall couldn't understand their callousness. Greenlee had shared this pregnancy with her. She understood what this meant to Kendall. "Why are you saying this to me?" she asked in disbelief._

_Their expressions were blank and cold. It was as if they saw right through her. She watched as their gazes turned back to the black coffin. _

_"It wasn't my fault," she whispered, turning to look up at Zach. "It couldn't be helped, right?"_

_"This wasn't your fault."_

_"Then why are they treating me like that?" She pointed at the two grieving parents, their backs turned away from her. "I did everything for them!" she cried, her heart breaking. "I loved them both. I showed them what they meant to me."_

_"They just don't understand," Zach said soothingly, as he fingered one lock of hair. "They don't understand how much it took for you to give to them."_

_"But why..." Kendall moved towards the coffin, but Greenlee and Ryan's angry gazes warded her away. "They...they hate me for this," she whispered. "They hate me." Suddenly the void was filled with familiar faces, surrounding the two grieving parents - all of them staring at her. It was like they were against her. A mixture of disappointment, anger, disgust surrounded her - accusing her._

_"Don't believe them," Zach whispered into her ear. "This isn't your fault. You did the best you could."_

_"B-But they all hate me now." She took a step back, feeling his hands on her shoulders, steadying her. "How...how can I face them now?" she stammered. "I can't face them. They won't understand."_

_"We will make them understand," he declared, spinning her around until she faced him. "We will make them understand how much you loved this child."_

_"How can you sound so convinced?" Kendall stared at him in disbelief and awe. "Why are you still here with me?" she hedged. "How can you still say these things when I've given you nothing in return?"_

_"Because I love you."_

_Kendall reached out and touched his cheek. His eyes were full of hope and love. He did love her. She hadn't imagined that look in his eyes. There was no mistake. He spoke the truth._

_"Everything you touch turns to dust!" Greenlee's voice echoed hauntingly._

_Kendall spun around to face her accuser; but where there had been a funeral procession, there was now a black empty void. She furrowed her brow, confused at what had happened. "Z-Zach," she said, her back turned away from him. "Wh-What happened to them?"_

_She spun around trying to see where they went, but there was no trace of the hateful crowd._

_"I don't know, Kendall."_

_"Zach," she said, her tone urgent. Kendall turned to Zach, meeting his concerned gaze. In the face of loss and death, she knew what was important - living for today. Here was her chance - he was here with her, alone. She could tell him how much he meant to her. "I have to tell you something..."_

_She could tell him that she had fallen in love with him, too._

_But before she could say another word, the eyes that had looked at her with such patience, caring, and passion, now looked at her with pain and sorrow. Kendall did not understand what was wrong. Suddenly his eyes turned away from her and was now focused somewhere else. She followed his gaze, down to where her hand lay upon his chest. There was something clasped underneath it. It was a piece of paper._

_"I understand," he said, pulling away from her._

_"Zach, wait," Kendall exclaimed desparately. She fumbled with the folded paper in her hand. What was it? What had Zach so hurt? As she peeled the seal off the backing, Kendall was confused by the medieval styled writing. Bringing the paper closer, she deciphered the swirls and curly-ques. _

_Her mouth moved as she read the words under her breath. "...disillusionment of said contract between Kendall Hart Slater to Zachary Slater."_

_"You've made yourself perfectly clear," Zach said, his tone distant. "And I will respect those wishes."_

_Kendall shook her head, pulling her head out of the papers she did not remember holding a moment ago, "No. This is not what I wanted." But again, as with the procession, Zach was nowhere to be found. "Zach!" she cried out, her eyes darting around for any sign of the enigmatic man. "Zach, this isn't what I was going to tell you!"_

_She spun around, silently praying he would come back. Closing her eyes she willed it. "Come back. Zach?_

_"Zach!"_

_----&----_

Kendall gasped, her eyes snapping open, as she awoke from her living sleep. Her heart was pounding against her chest, as if she had just lived the whole dream over again. She pulled her knees in tight against her chest, with the covers bunching in between. The pain of losing both seemed so real.

_God, why can't I get you out of my head? Or out of my heart?_


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Delirious

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. If you did, you'd totally notice. Because the show wouldn't suck as much. And Babe and Krystal would have been abducted by aliens a long time ago.  
**Title:** The Dance That We Do  
**Author:** Jayta  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Show:** All My Children  
**A/N:** And everyone breathes a sigh of relief. As do I. :D I didn't think this would ever actually get done.  
**A/N 2:** A second note? Someone wants a second note? Well nothing is in this little brain of mine after writing this update. Nope. My brain is on hiatus.

**Chapter Fourteen: Delirious**

She deserved to be alone. It was the only conclusion she could come to. As Kendall stared out at the nightsky, there was nothing else running through her mind but how she had managed to screw up everything in her life. When she was a girl, Kendall dreamed of the possibility of a happily ever after. But all of that was shattered when she found out who her real mother was and how she was conceived. _That was the day my life began to fall apart._

Since her abrupt awakening earlier that night, Kendall had not been able to fall back to sleep. She found herself flashing hot and cold; the room became a stifling prison. Whatever she tried to do to take her mind off of the nightmare and the disaster that was her marriage to Zach, whether it was work or a book, it was always there - always in the back of her mind. She didn't know whether the thermostat was broken in the room or it was this cold or flu she had caught, but she was restless. It felt like she was uncomfortable in her own skin.

Tugging on the inside of both her sleeves, stretching the knit of the grey sweater, Kendall wrapped her arms around herself. _I shouldn't go out._ She glanced briefly outside at the growing ferocity of the invisible hand of God. The hurricane loomed upon the small island, reaping its' destructive harvest upon its' unsuspecting victims. Chairs, tables, and anything else that had not been secured by the hotel employees tumbled across the beach and also into the engulfing surf of the ocean. It was wild and tumultuous. Exactly what she was feeling inside.

_I have to get out of here._

Underneath her skin, it felt like the blood was boiling within her veins. She had to get out and feel the cool air on her face. The swish of the veranda door filled her ears as the forceful blast of the wind rushed over her. It felt good.

Barefoot and with only a thin sweater to keep out the wind, Kendall embraced the chaos that ensued around her. There was so much that she had been dealing with over the past several months. Never in a million years would she have ever believed that she would be standing on this beach now, in love with her husband, devoid of a child, and alone.

Closing her eyes, Kendall breathed in the cool air that had a hint of rain upon it, and let the memories of the past year flood over her. Too many of them were filled with pain and tears. Her whole life had been filled with more pain and rejection that she ever believed possible. Much of it was her fault, but not all of it.

"All I wanted was someone to love me!" she screamed out into the empty void that took her words away from her and sent them into the darkness. Dropping her arms to her side, she opened her eyes, watching the white surf rolling forward and crashing against the white sands, a few feet away from her.

Words rolled through her mind. _Unwanted. Screw-up. Loser. Reject._

_Why does it always have to be a fight?_ Why did she have to fight for everything she wanted?

Glancing down, Kendall picked up a stone that lay by her feet. Bitterly, she squeezed the black stone in her hand, as if by sheer will she could infuse the inanimate object with every crushed dream and desire. And with all of her might, she raised it over her head and threw it into the rumbling surf. It disappeared from sight, into the blackness of the night, before she could see it swallowed by the cleansing white foam.

She was so tired of this all. Why did her life have to fall apart at every turn? Was she doomed to live a life of misery? Turning around to leave, Kendall had to stop herself, as her vision blurred; she felt a little light-headed. Leaning forward, she caught her breath, waiting for it to pass. _What else could go wrong?_

Standing up and blinking several times, Kendall found her vision still slightly blurred, but no sign of dizziness. _Just put one foot in front of the other._ She stopped mid-step, as a tall figure emerged from the beneath the shadows. Pressing her fingers against her eyes, Kendall didn't know if she was seeing things or if it was real. _Zach?_

The figure moved in closer and the man did share a close resemblance to Zach - at least from what she could tell from this distance. _You're just delirious. That's it._ Kendall squinted, trying to focus, as things began to blur again. However, the mirage of Zach continued to come closer.

"What?" Kendall frowned, as 'Zach' approached, her anger suddenly surfacing again. "Did you come to torment me?"

Like she didn't have enough in her life to keep her well grounded in reality. She was a product of rape. She had managed to humiliate herself, throwing herself at a man who chose someone he 'liked' over her. Then she managed to throw love away a second time when she married Ethan's father. And now she was in the throws of a one-sided love affair with Zach.

"Stay there!" she commanded her 'imagination'. "Don't come any closer." To her surprise it obeyed. _Great. I'm crazy, too!_

His lips began to move, mouthing her name, 'Kendall'.

She was definitely losing it. She was in the throws of delirium. "You know, why did you have to come into my life?" she yelled at Zach. "Why did you ask me to marry you? Why did you propose something that I was insane enough to agree to?"

If he hadn't walked into her life that day, she could very well be happily married to Ethan and the chaos in her life might have been avoided. Maybe Ryan would never have gone loco and he and Greenlee would be happily married with their own child? She didn't know. She would never know. Kendall stared angrily at the mirage in front of her. She married _him_. She fell in love with _him_.

"You screwed up my life!" But her accusation was swallowed up by a loud crack of thunder; and she watched as he just stood there, staring at her - no reply, no answer. "Do you see," Kendall cried hoarsely. "Do you see what you've done to me?" Her voice trailed off.

Suddenly the soft echo of rain fell. Each drop of rain sounding in the cool night air - the only proof of the existence of anything living in the consuming darkness. She felt herself suffocating in the closing abyss.

Kendall felt the wet droplets pelting against her skin, as the wind strengthened its' assault. She didn't care. As the rain fell, more heavily with each passing second, Kendall welcomed the invisible onslaught. Its' silent words piercing her soul.

_Will I never get it right?_

"I know it's my fault," she spoke into the darkness. "I made the wrong choices - all of the wrong choices. It was me. I know I always blamed someone else. But I know it was and is me." She opened her eyes and locked gazes with the desire of her heart. "I deserve to be miserable. I have had so many chances." Her voice choked on a rising tide of tears. The piercing cold cut right through her, but she ignored it. Standing in the rain, face to face with the man she had demanded honesty from, but never gave it in return, was where she needed to be. "My past haunts me, Zach. And I don't think I'll ever be free."

She had hoped to leave it behind. Who she had been, who she was - she wished she could be free of the ghosts of her past. Closing her eyes, she let the rain fall upon her, willing it to wash away the sins of her father which had been haunting her all of these years. All of the arguments and screaming matches against Erica, Jack, and anyone else who came up against her - she wasn't fighting them. She was fighting herself and the voice inside her head telling her they were right.

Kendall was finally ready to admit that she believed those lies that Erica had spewed at her when she revealed herself to her mother. How could anything good come from such a horrible act? Wasn't this the reason she was doomed to a life without love? Instead, she found pain and suffering - misery.

_Oh God, will I never be free? Will I never be clean?_

--&--

He had been inextricably drawn to the cacophony created by the forces of nature. It was as if it called to him - speaking to his soul. The confusion and havoc reaped by the mere elements intrigued him and he found himself at peace within the turmoil. However, Zach had not expected to see Kendall in the centre of the torrent.

She seemed to frail and fragile amidst the indomitable wind that even managed to bend the trees to its' will. Her hair hid her face, as she stared out into the ocean. She seemed preoccupied - distant.

His first instinct was to leave. He had promised to leave her alone. And since he hadn't managed to keep his first promise of keeping her and her child safe, it was the least he could do. He would have, but as he watched in the distance, he saw her falter. She was still sick. And here she stood in a thin, knit sweater.

He had moved in closer, to make sure she didn't pass out; but in doing so, he had come to close. And she spotted him. She did not speak his name, not at first. Instead what came out were accusations. Anger, no doubt at the way he handled things. He had wanted to explain, but she, once again, pushed him away. Commanding him to stay away. And as much as it pained him, he acquiesced.

Standing as an outsider, Zach watched her crumble before his eyes. She had blamed him. No doubt, it was true. He had complicated an arrangment that should have been simple enough. But even a simple arrangement, something like a marriage of convenience, he had managed to screw up. Zach felt the acute sting of each word.

But something changed. Suddenly her words, her thoughts became lost and confused. She seemed to take her focus off of him and turn it...inwards.

He approached her slowly, positive that she was totally unaware of his presence. It was as if she didn't see him at all. As the rain poured down on her, it was as if each added drop held the possibility of breaking the already crumbling woman.

--&--

"Kendall."

His voice echoed in her head. _It's almost like he's really here._ Kendall raised her gaze to meet the figment of her imagination, who now stood a few feet away. He looked so real, down to the dripping suit. "You know, I-I wish to God that you were really here," she whispered, talking to herself. But he wasn't. He wasn't here. Closing her eyes, she allowed her hot tears to intermingle with the cold cries of nature. "But you're not. You're not here."

He furrowed his brow as Kendall seemed delirious and confused. Her words didn't make any sense. It wasn't until he moved closer, only an arms length away, that he realized she was trembling. Her clothes were soaked through. Her hair was matted by the weight of the rain. "C'mon, Kendall," he coaxed, reaching out to her. "Let me take you back to the hotel."

His voice seemed so soft and kind. It was as she imagined he would be. It was as she pictured it would begin. He would come to her and she would finally have to guts to tell him what she truly felt. She would disperse with the lies and finally admit what she felt in her heart, despite her fears. She would say his name. "Zach."

He stopped, his hand just short of taking her arm. "Kendall," he spoke, a little louder now, over the rumble of the storm. "Not now."

"Yes, now," she declared, taking a step back. If she didn't do it then, when would she do it? Afterall, it was only a dream. "I have to tell you..."

"Kendall," Zach frowned, reaching to grasp her arm. She quickly pulled back. "C'mon. We have to get you back inside."

"I know you don't want to hear it," she said distractedly. "I mean, why would you? But I have to tell you."

Zach saw the desperation in her eyes. She wasn't seeing him. Not really.

"I've said this a hundred times in my head. I've even dreamed it," Kendall laughed deliriously, running her fingers through her wet hair. "Just like this.

"Well, not exactly like this. This is a little different."

Zach looked on anxiously, as Kendall slipped further into this delusion. She could not separate the dream from reality. _I have to get her inside and out of the rain._

"Everytime I tried to do this with you," she said thoughtfully. "You always said something to make me mad. Or something else would get in the way." Her fear always got the best of her. "I mean, how could I tell you this when you kept showing me that you didn't care? Or at least not in that way..."

Zach paused. Her words had caught his attention. "In what way?" But she ignored him.

"Do you know what it felt like to be near you? To have you close enough to..." her voice trailed of for a moment, "but never being able to reach out and touch you?" Kendall looked up at him, searching out those beautiful eyes she had etched in her mind. "It was like..."

"Torture." He finished her sentence for her.

"Zach, I hated you. I probably still should," she said, turning away. "But the more determined I became to keep you away, the more you kept chipping away at me. Always with the sweet words...coming to my quick defense if anyone tried to tear me down. "

"It was hard to keep your distance," he said distractedly, understanding where she was coming from. "Everytime you tried to figure out a reason why you felt that way...a way out..."

"You did something to make me care for you even more."

"It was like swimming upstream, the more you tried, the further downstream you ended up drifting."

Even though this was a dream, Kendall found herself slipping into the unfounded dream with ease. _If it could have been this easy to talk to him..._ She could have found herself in a completely different position. If she could have spoken these words after he told her how much he loved her...

"Why couldn't you be real?" she whispered, peering into his eyes. "I am here," he whispered, leaning in. She was close enough to touch. "I'm here."

The intensity of the downpour and the wind increased; yet it was as if nothing could intrude upon this moment. It was a moment of truth for the both of them. And neither were going to walk away. Not this time.

"I love you, Zach," Kendall admitted, swallowing the water that beat against her face. "You have no idea how much I ache everytime you're in the same room, unable to reach out and just hold your hand." She wiped her eyes, trying to focus on the figment in front of her, afraid he'd vanish before her eyes. "I have to hold my breath whenever you walk into a room because I know I'd give myself away. Everytime you stand close, I was afraid I'd let myself give in. I'd weaken. But what has that gotten me?

"Tell me I'm not too late. Tell me you still want me."

She was tired of being afraid. She was tired of finding excuse after excuse to make herself miserable. Bianca had once made an off-handed remark, that she was painting herself into a corner - into a lifetime of being alone and unhappy. And standing here on this beach, she was confronted with that frighteningly too-true reality.

Zach hadn't thought this was possible - that the woman standing in front of him could feel about him, the way he felt about her. He hadn't deserved it. For so long he had changed dreams that were out-of-reach; but here Kendall stood, telling him that he could have it. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. No...the way he needed her.

"Kendall," he said, his voice rising above the pounding of the rain and the howl of the wind. "There's nothing I want more."

He hovered protectively over her, as if trying to shield her from the assault of the rain, his hands raised above her head, sheltering her from the penetrating cold. It was the most amazing dream. Kendall could even swear she felt the heat emanating from his imagined body. His long lashes blinked away the drops of rain that clung to them, just as she did. _This is so real._

Zach watched as she raised her hand to brush back the rain-drenched locks of hair out of her eyes, but he reached out and stopped her. His hand grasped her wrist gently. Slowly, he lowered it to her side, his gaze never leaving her.

Suddenly her heart leaped into her throat. _Oh God._ As she glanced briefly at the strong hand that grasped hers, Kendall was hit with the reality that this was real. Zach was here. He was standing right here in front of her.

"I love you, Kendall Hart Slater," he yelled above the din of the storm. Reaching out, Zach ran both his hands through her tangled hair, while drawing her close to him. His heart was pounding against his chest, as he lowered his head in toward her. There was no more pushing her away. He didn't have to watch her from afar and pretend he could live without her. "And don't think I could ever stop."

She didn't think she could breathe. In fact, she didn't think she was breathing. _Is this happening? Is this real?_ Before she could ask another question, Kendall felt the warmth of wet flesh against her lips. She stiffened at first, as the intitial shock of Zach actually being there was just hitting her, before allowing herself to sink into him. His arm slithered around her waist, as she slid her arms around his neck, pulling her in closer. Parting her lips slightly, she gasped for air before pulling him down into a deeper kiss.

_If this was a dream, she didn't want to know._


End file.
